Juvenile People JP's
by superecho
Summary: Joining JP's means to fight demons, saving people, and slaying gods for peace right? …Nope. Devil Survivor 2 humor fanfic. Different summary for each chapter.
1. Someday's Snicket - I

Foreword

It's me, superecho! Been a long time since I wrote last, considering I was completely immobilized to do any fanfic with the pile-load of tasks… _*sigh*_ but good news! [Persona Beats!] & [New Resolve] updates are in development! Before I finished those though, I'll have a warm-up with this Devil Survivor 2 humor fanfic :3

I truly enjoyed playing **Devil Survivor 2**, but I haven't seen many humor fics of it in , not even after the anime came out. It's obvious though; despite its superb graphics the anime is not very good, a shame since it got lots of potential. So I think I'll make one, a light humor story that revolves around the days of survival. Hope you'll enjoy it!

Main Character's name in the manga, **Hiro Kageyama**, will be used. Hibiki Kuze in the anime is a bit… Please just enjoy the story =)

**General Summary**: Joining JP's means to fight demons, saving people, and slaying gods for peace right? …Nope. Devil Survivor 2 humor fanfic. Different summary for each chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Devil Survivor 2 and its respective characters belong to Atlus. I own the story idea and the original stuff I add on my own. JP's is pronounced 'jips', by the way.

/

* * *

**Juvenile People JP's**

©2013 superecho

* * *

/

**1****st**** Day: **Someday's Snicket - I

Chapter Summary: Makoto Sako has always lack proper etiquette prior joining JP's and it hasn't got any better over 2 years of labor. This time around, she will regret it to her heart's content.

/

Tokyo

[**SOME**DAY**,** 06:00]

**# **_At the sky above Diet Building, a pink fog is covering the area…_

…

[**SOME**DAY**,** 06:30]

**/Nagata-cho – Tokyo Branch**

Today, members of JP's are also doing their best in eliminating demons, protecting people, and serve the country of Japan. The ace officer of JP's Tokyo branch, Makoto Sako, is no exception. She will wake up the four newly-joined civilians, as part of the daily routine to start her day.

"Kageyama," she opened the door, "Wake up, today we-"

Hiro Kageyama, the charismatic leader of those civilians, is only wearing boxers when Makoto went in.

"A-AH! I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[It's fine.]

[Again and again?]

**[Pervert!]**

* * *

"Forgive me!" _***SLAM***_ Makoto fled out.

It's been the fifth time Makoto pulled this stunt, and even Hiro Kageyama, the most kind-hearted and humorous male in the group, now had his suspicions.

"Again… I didn't do it on purpose, did I…?" Makoto blushes; she's starting to suspect herself, too.

Just a few meters away, Makoto saw two of her fellow female members gossiping to this.

"Officer Sako is really drawn into that boy, eh…?"

"But still, peeking at a man 8 years below you? I call that pedophile."

Makoto approaches the two, couldn't afford to ignite any kind of gossip mishaps occur in this building. Not when… her boss is currently in it.

"Please stop talking behind people's back. And for your information, that was just a misunderstanding."

The two run off. Makoto did the right thing, that's that. After recomposing herself, she resumes her task.

…

"Shijima," she opened the door, "Are you awake-"

Makoto nearly got a heart attack when she saw Daichi, the butt-monkey brunette teen boy, is playing with his orange cell phone while cuddling on his bed and snacking on a chocolate muffin. Wearing. Nothing. But. A. Towel.

"Whoa, Makoto! This isn't what you-"

As Daichi stand up from his bed to make an excuse, his towel fell and… ESRB, it's your call.

"Damnit, don't look!"

Daichi is having a hard time to cover his _private_ as his hands are full. Makoto's face painted pink by the event, but she keeps telling herself to remain calm. As a trained soldier, something so trivial won't faze her, right?

"(_Relax… I got this. I just need to calm him down and dismiss this as an accident_)."

After taking a deep breath, Makoto flashes a smile at Daichi.

"Shijima, you're really as awesome as Kujou said."

Daichi's face went pale. He slowly retreated to the bathroom and locked himself up.

"(_Huh? Why did he- …Ah._)"

Makoto realized too late that she sounded like a pervert, much to Daichi's horror. She hurriedly knocked the bathroom door a few times, but there's no response.

"Shijima, open up! That was-"

"NO! DON'T TAKE AWAY MY PURITY!"

_***SLAM***_ Makoto sighs deeply as she left Daichi's room. Then, she saw the two female members from earlier.

"Did officer Sako just… peeping at that Shijima kid?"

"He's kinda cute, but... Being old is scary, huh?"

No, no, no. Makoto is an officer of JP's, a high-ranked one at that. She couldn't let this small 'misunderstanding' put a dent on her career record… or her mental health. So, she rushes to them.

"That was… another accident. And I'm only 26."

The two run off, scared. Makoto shakes her a few times, think nothing of it, and then continue her task.

…

"Akie," Makoto went in, "Breakfast ready-"

The easygoing man, Yuzuru Akie or Joe, is fully dressed… except for one vital part.

"Morning, Makoto. …Hey, what's with that look? Is there an apple on my face?"

As Makoto's face went red (but she won't look away for some reason), Joe noticed that he hasn't worn his long pants… only his underwear.

"Whoopsies. I forgot that sometimes, especially when I'm running late for a job's meeting. Hahaha!"

_***SLAM***_ Makoto left Joe's room in awkward mood. Again, she saw the two from before.

"Did she cut it short this time? Two years gap?"

"Come on, officer Sako can't be a pedo-"

This began to take a mental toll on her mind; out of the working shifts on JP's schedule, why Makoto is having such bad luck today!? She rushes off to them yet _again_; her face is still red from embarrassment.

"There is… NOTHING going on between me, _*cough* _Kageyama, Shijima, and Akie."

Makoto tried her best to sound calm, but her voice tone was pretty unconvincing regardless. Those two run off again, in panic this time. Makoto lean her heavy-burdened head to the wall, when Io shows up and approaches her.

"Makoto, what happened? Uh, your face is pale…"

"I'm…," Makoto's face is almost as blue as her hair, "…fine."

Io jumped and took out her pink cell phone.

"Oh no, you've been cursed! Amrita!" _***FLASH***_ "It didn't work…? Diarahan!" _***FLASH***_

Despite Io's multiple spell casts, Makoto didn't feel any better.

...

[**SOME**DAY, 07:00]

In this dining hall for employees, Hiro, Daichi, Io, and Joe were already seated on one small table as usual. They are enjoying breakfast as one happy quartet, just like every other day in Japan crisis. This particular day however, Hiro and Daichi are having clouds over their heads. Rainy with chance of depression.

"Hiro, Daichi… Um, are you feeling sick?" Io asked.

"The boys are having a diet? Then you won't mind if I have yours, right?" Joe grinned.

"J-Joe, that's… That's not very nice…"

"Aww, Io. That was a reverse psychology trick!"

From afar, Makoto saw the two boys' blank faces and can't help but to feel responsible. Whether it was simply bad luck or her subconscious' desire, is unknown. …And she doesn't want to know. She decided to rush breakfast and greet the Chief as her next daily routine.

…

"Chief," Makoto entered the room, "What is our plan to-"

Makoto's face goes deep crimson as their fearless teenage leader, Yamato Hotsuin, is eating a medium-sized takoyaki box… while being _half-naked_. _Half-naked_ as in, wear no tops and clearly showing fine line of pecks painted with dragon tattoo.

"In the name of a soaring dragon!" Yamato roared, "**WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!**"

_***RUMBLE***_ The entire building shook, as if a gigantic dragon just sneezed. The members of JP's are buzzing loudly. …Makoto of course, is _trying_ to stay calm.

_("W-What should I do in this situation? Unlike before, this is the Chief I'm facing. … Wow, his build is very proportional for his age… His biceps aren't that large, but I could tell that it's well-developed. I never really see Chief went somewhere to work out, nor paint that tattoo. Now I see him like this, he looked kind of manly…")_

"…What are you examining?"

_***gasp***_ Makoto blushes. Her head is looked like a tomato with blue leaf on top. Literally.

_("W-W-What in the world… I was… the Chief… N-No, what have I done!?")_

Makoto realized way too late that she was ogling her boss; cue to her putting the blame on her synchronized swimming experience. Yamato put down his takoyaki set as his half-naked body is hungers for blood, though he didn't just murder officer Sako on the spot. He actually took the time to get dressed properly first before punishing his underling, like a fierce but charismatic leader he is. Hotsuin's family line is amazing. Makoto who didn't take that chance to flee was an idiot, though. It sucks to have high loyalty.

"C-Chief, I can explain…"

Regaining his cool behavior, Yamato took out his JP's standard-issue gold cell phone from his jacket's pocket and aimed it at Makoto.

"Will you survive to do that?"

_***BOOM***_ the concrete door was blasted away by a huge fireball of Agidyne. Makoto was able to dodge it by hair since Yamato was still somewhat emotional from the incident. Otherwise… _*gulp*_

"C-C-C-Chief, n-now I s-survived, let me explain…"

"Did I agree to listen?"

_***ZAP-ZAP-ZAP* *BOOM***_ bolts of Mazio's lightning were launched from inside the room, destroying the nearby wall in the process. Makoto barely dodge them all while escaping outside- where nearly every JP's member of Tokyo branch have gathered from all the commotion. Oh, the two gossip-loving female officers from before? They are coincidentally here; in the foremost front line to boot.

"O-Officer Sako did it…! She sexually harassed the Chief!"

"E-Everyone knows that the Chief is still 17, but…!"

Throughout the loud gossips right in front of her, it took no genius that she has been officially branded the '_pedophile hag of Tokyo branch_'. Makoto can feel her cheeks burning and her eyes spinning by this series of unbelievable events.

"T-This is not… Listen, I'm not a pedophile… I was just…"

All members glare at Makoto; few with disgust, some with sadness, but most with jealousy and hatred. Thankfully Hiro and his crew aren't there, but that's hardly matters now.

"H-How dare she to scores it out with my Hotsuin…!"

"I only applied at JP's in hope to see him up close, but now…"

"It's a war, officer Sako. You against all the women here!"

Despite the twist of Yamato having fan girls, one thing is certain for Officer Makoto Sako:_** She is doomed.**_

/

**1st Day**

Someday's Snicket - I

/

Nagoya

[**SOME**DAY, 08:00]

**/Oosu – Shabaton**

Hiro is here. He wasn't even sure when and how he got here.

**#** _After a long struggle to finish your breakfast, you found yourself wandering the streets of Nagoya. Did the shock from Makoto's 'assault' drive you out of Tokyo…?_

"Hi there, kid."

**#** _Dera-deka approaches you…_

"You looked like a zombie today. Did something happen?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[…Nothing happened.]**

[I was sexually harassed.]

[DAAAADDD!]

* * *

"Hmm, are you sure? …I don't mind if you had a secret or two, but don't strain yourself. Kids should have a lot of energy, like my daughter. Well, let's meet up again kid."

**#** _As Dera-deka left, Airi's face suddenly appears in your mind…_

…

[**SOME**DAY, 08:30]

**/Sakae – Osiris 41**

**#** _You found_ _Airi, she is staring at the concert hall as usual._

"Hmm… I know I shouldn't come here anymore, but…"

**#** _Airi stops talking to herself as she noticed your arrival._

"O-Oh, Hiro. Stop sneaking on me like that!"

Hiro stares at Airi without any words, which is creeping her out.

"…What are you looking at?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Do you want to be my GF?]

[Let's live together from now on.]

**[MARRY ME!]**

* * *

"Wh-!?" Airi is shocked, "W-What prank is you pulling here? I-It's Hinako, isn't it? W-Well, it won't work!"

**#** _Airi didn't trust you…_

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Woo her.]

**[Hold her hand.]**

[Act macho.]

* * *

_**#**__ You firmly hold Airi's hand._

"W-W-W-What…?" Airi blushes.

**#** _Out of nowhere, Jungo and Fumi appears._

"Hiro and Airi will get married…? Jungo is happy."

"Congratulations, I guess? I don't really care, though."

"Y-Y-You idiots! Help me!"

**#** _Jungo is closing his eyes, thinking deeply. Fumi is flashing out her laptop and attached some strange device on you, before starting to type furiously. You ignored them and keep holding Airi's hand._

"…It's not enough," Jungo said an ambiguous message.

**#** _Jungo left in a hurry…_

"What… You jerk!" Airi barked, "Fumi, don't you dare to run!"

"Hmm… This might work out…," Fumi grinned, ignoring Airi's words.

"Fumi! Stop ignoring me!"

"Aw, hush. He might've been under a demon's spell, so be quiet while I analyze him."

Airi resist the embarrassing moment, looking away from Hiro's face.

"Hmm… So his brain waves… Hormones level… Ah, this pattern…"

_**#**__ You're touching Airi's chin softly…_

_***blush***_ "F-Fumi, speed it up!"

"If I connect this pattern here with this theory… Using a calculation based on a standard value…"

_**#**__ You're leaning your forehead to Airi's…_

_***fiery blush***_ "FUMI!"

"…Bingo. I need to make some preparations, so meet me later at- Let's see… 14:00 will do. I'll send the coordinates to your phone later."

"But that's still 5 hours away! There's no way-"

Fumi left quickly, ignoring Airi's protest.

"D-Don't leave me alone with him! Stupid Fumi!"

...

Osaka

[**SOME**DAY, 09:00]

**/America Town – Triangle Plaza**

As usual, Keita is punching the sandbag tirelessly as his daily training. When he was about to take a little break, a random truck approaches him. The driver came out, who turns out to be Daichi.

"What do you want?" Keita greeted fiercely like usual-

"Keita-chan, daddy's home~" Daichi jumped at him happily.

Keita side-stepped and Daichi's face kissed the ground. A tip for pro boxer: never let a loony-looking someone laid a finger on you.

"Aww, Keita. Daddy just wanted a hug!" Daichi said with gay expression.

"What's gotten into you? Demon got your brain?" Keita glared at him with disgust.

"Who taught you those words? No, Keita! Bad!"

"…Don't make me kill you."

Daichi has always been a chore for Keita, supporting Jungo's friendship crap with Hiro and the others like some sick hobby… Only today, he appears to be completely gone mad. While that's a legitimate reason to punch him into oblivion, even Keita wouldn't do that to a human being off-ring. …Maybe. In that nickel of time, Hinako arrives on the scene.

"What's up, Keita?" she turns to Daichi, "Daichi looked strange-"

"**HONEY! WHAT VOCABULARY DID YOU TEACH TO OUR SON!?**"

Hinako backed away in surprise from Daichi's sudden outburst. Her spine is feeling cold and for once, it's not courtesy of her revealing outfit.

"W-What?"

"Don't what me!" Daichi frowned, "It's a mother's job to take care of household while a father is working!"

Hinako approaches Keita and whispers at him.

_("…Are we playing house?")_

_("Why don't YOU ask HIM?")_

_("Let me get this straight. Daichi's the father, I'm the mother, and you are the child?")_

_("Don't tell me you will play along.")_

_("We should be, while observing whether he's being possessed by a demon or not.")_

_("…I'm so going to kill him later.")_

_***SLAM***_ while the two were discussing, Daichi already prepared a table set; complete with plates, bowls, chopsticks, and tea cups- Along with the actual food and tea, all from inside the truck. Whether he scavenged them from JP's supplies or some stores down the street, is better left unknown.

"It's late, let's have dinner!"

_("It's broad daylight, you moron.")_

_("Sssh. He'll hear you.")_

Hinako steps forward confidently, "Alright, honey!"

Keita tried his best not to kill Daichi on the spot, "…Yes, **D**e**AD**."

"Make sure you eat your vegetables!"

Keita nods hesitantly.

"Honey, pour me some sake!"

"Sure, dear- …You're a minor, Daichi!"

"What? How come you forbid me to drink sake while you keep buying those useless make-ups?"

"Why you… That's going too far!"

"Here, **D**e**AD**."

"Good boy, Keita! _***chug-chug***_"

_("What are you…?")_

_("He's easier to kill when drunk.")_

_("…Good point!")_

…

[**SOME**DAY, 09:30]

**/Tenjinbashi-Suji – Ten 7 Mall**

Down the empty street, a lone street vendor stands on his emergency counter. Doomsday is just any other day for business; that's why this guy gathered all living supplies he had left for sale, so he _might_ come out of this apocalyptic mess alive and loaded.

"…Wait. How I was so sure?" he questioned himself.

"Umm… Excuse me."

A cute, bob-styled brunette-haired girl wearing a high school uniform snapped the man from his trance. This girl known as Io Nitta really does have the look that'll make guys swoon.

"O-Oh, sorry. Welcome! What do you need?"

"I was wondering if I could buy some supplies…"

"Sure! Take a look around, girl!"

Io inspected the lineup. Rice balls, meat buns, instant ramen, chocolate bars, butter cookies, calorie gets, mineral water, energy drinks, plastic umbrella, plastic raincoat, zippo lighters, portable charger, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS… Hold it.

"Oh, I'll let you have those game systems for free if you buy a pack of anything, one for each."

Those games, Survivor 2 and Overclocked something, has poisoned the vendor's mind to think that fighting demons and surviving apocalypse is cool. Damn Atlus. In the end, Io bought a pack of rice balls, a pack of meat buns, some cookies, and a pack of… some kind of energy drink.

"How much do they cost?" Io asked him.

"10000 Yen total."

"T-That much?"

It's true this guy raised the price a bit- okay, a lot to boost sales, but it's legit with demon-ridden world right? Right?

"I'm sorry, but… could you please lower the price…?"

Io pleaded politely, which struck a chord with the vendor. Sincere polite manners combined with cute face? Deadly.

"…Okay, 9000."

"…," Io hesitated.

In confusion of what to do, Io fiddles with her fingers which subconsciously make her poses somewhat… moe? The vendor found it hard to breathe at this sight, but he couldn't stop himself from staring.

"…7500?" the vendor is struggling.

"…P-Please lower the price a little more," Io blushes as she felt the stare.

"Uh… 5000," the street dealer can't look at Io's puppy eyes.

"A-A little bit more… Please?" Io unknowingly strikes the cutest pose ever.

"2000 Yen!" the street dealer's face goes overheat.

"Thank you!" Io smiled.

Io was worried about Hiro's and Daichi's conditions, so she walked around to find something that will refresh them up. Not that she's ungrateful to JP's for providing food and comfort, but consuming ration packs everyday is slowly killing morale.

"T-Thank you for the purchase," the vendor awkwardly handed her the shopping bag.

"Thank you very much for the discount!" Io bowed, before leaving in joy.

Io took a glance on the contents of her shopping bag. The energy drink she bought happens to be… Misovitan D. Six bottles of it in one bundle. Fumi told her that it's the best energizing drink ever. Riiight.

"I wonder if Hiro will like it…," Io blushes hard, "N-No, these are for Daichi and everyone else, too! What am I thinking…?"

The vendor forgot to give her the games. Oh well, another 40 playing hours won't hurt.

…

[**SOME**DAY, 10:00]

**/Shinsekai – Osaka Main Branch**

Otome Yanagiya, the head doctor of JP's, is taking her rare break with a cup of tea. She is blissfully watching Koharu, her little daughter, playing with demons. …Wait.

"Let's do it one more time!"

"Ms. Koharu, we've been doing this for hours."

"But I'm not tired yet! And you promised to call me Koharu-chan!"

"Koharu-chan, we demons need a break too, so…"

"Not fair! You two always play with mom all the time!"

"We were fighting…"

"That still doesn't change the fact that you're with mom!"

Otome put down her tea cup, "Now, Koharu. Mr. Orthus and Ms. Yuki Jyorou are running out of MP."

"But moooooom," Koharu whined.

"After this let's take a walk around Kanda! Io said there are some children books there."

"Really? Yaaay!"

Orthus and Yuki Jyorou sighed in relief; they have never been this exhausted, not even when fighting the Septentriones alongside their doctor beauty. But their hope is about to shatter as a tired-looking someone enter the room.

"…Huh? Makoto?"

…

Nagoya

[**SOME**DAY, 10:30]

**/Sakae – Crystal Court**

Hiro and Airi are taking a walk as a 'couple'. Airi is pretty embarrassed, since not only that Hiro doesn't want to let her hand go, but also because he is getting closer and closer to her.

"Grr…!" Airi grits her teeth, "Enough! There's no way I'll spend another three hours with you clinging to me!"

**#** _Airi is about to kick you in the face!_

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Beg her to stop.]

[Run for your life!]

**[Kiss her on the cheek.]**

* * *

_***smooch***_ Airi's face goes completely red and her mind goes blank.

Meanwhile, in the distance, a certain bob-haired girl is dropping her jaw.

…

Osaka

[**SOME**DAY, 11:00]

**/Shin-Imamiya – Festival Gate**

"We're on family vacation! Aren't you happy, Keita?" Daichi flashes his goofy smile.

"…Deliberately," Keita clenches his fist.

"You learned big words today at school? You finally grow some brains, and not just some stupid muscles!"

Keita is **forcing** a smile.

"Well, a tiny-weenie cute kid like you should learn, not punching things like an idiot! Kids these days…"

Keita's eyes roll as if they wanted to pierce through Daichi's heart.

_("Why didn't he get drunk?")_

_("…Why did you ask me?")_

"Honey, try that Merry-Go-Round to lose some weight!"

Hinako's glasses almost melt from her burning eyes. Still, she does as Daichi said (also persuaded Keita to do the same) and the three of them rides the merry-go-round together.

"Wheeeee~" Daichi is overreacting like a child.

"…," Keita's eyes are like that of a hungry tiger's.

"…," Hinako tries hard to enjoy it, but to no avail.

_("Hey, speaking of which…")_

_("…What now?")_

_("How does this merry-go-round operate? This place was trashed by demons-")_

Squeaky footsteps could be heard nearby, which belong to a group of Jack Frosts, tagged along by floating Pyro Jacks. One Jack Frost come closer to the trio and spoke.

"Um, ho… We were supposed to play that, ho…"

"We asked our Agathion friends to power it up for the whole day, ho! Step aside, ho!" an angry Pyro Jack added.

Keita give an angry scowl, "Who even want to ride this in the first place!? You bastards…"

Before Keita could dismount and start killing those cute demons, Daichi is already down there.

"Now, now. Let's just ride this together, okay?"

"We don't want to play with stupid humans, ho!"

"Idiot. To me, cute fairies like you are my children, my family! Now, call me daddy!"

…Silence ensues.

_("How idiotic could he get?")_

_("Less than monkeys? Wait, monkeys are smart.")_

Having concluded that Daichi just dig his own grave, Keita and Hinako took out their cell phones and prepare to fight. But to their surprise, the Jacks army didn't.

"H-Ho… Nobody ever said that to us since our parents died, ho…"

"I missed our daddy, ho… I want to play with him, ho…"

The Jacks army starts to cry like a bunch of orphaned kids, surrounding Daichi and asking for hugs.

"My, my. How sad. It's alright; I'll be playing with you for today."

For that moment, Daichi truly looked like a genuine, caring father. Seeing this, Keita's and Hinako's murderous intent temporarily subsided.

"Honey! Son!" Daichi called out to the two, "I'm sorry, but could you help me play with them for just a few hours?"

"S-Sure, honey…"

"I-If you insist, dad…"

Somehow, Keita and Hinako obeyed Daichi and start to babysit the demons.

…

Nagoya

[**SOME**DAY, 11:30]

**/Mei Station – Permina**

Airi wasn't sure when and how, but at the moment she and Hiro are inside a crepe shop. This store is also a popular hangout spot for high school girls, especially for _**dating**_. Not that its currently trashed conditions with banners, ropes, and coupons all scattered on the floor fits the mood, but still.

_("ARRRGH! What am I thinking, taking him into this place!?")_

As Airi busy cursing her current fate, Hiro took his time gazing at Airi. He inspected her from top to the bottom, like some perverted otaku.

"Stop staring at me, you idiot!"

Hiro did the exact opposite- gazing with more eye power that could match the Sexy Gaze skill. Airi is fighting the 'charm' effect, for the sake of her dignity. But there's no sign of Hiro stopping. At all.

"S-S-Stop that already! Uh… two crepes, please!"

Who is Airi kidding? This shop is pretty much abandoned, saves for some ingredients. There would be nobody to answer-

"Coming right away."

"Gueh!?"

On the counter, there's a Tetsujin 28-Go ready to cook with an apron! …Wait, it is Jungo.

"S-Since when you're here!?" Airi blushes furiously.

"Shortly after Airi and Hiro entered this shop."

If that's the case, Jungo saw pretty much everything… On how Hiro examines her features and how Airi blushes furiously thanks to that.

"J-Jungo, you…! Were you following us!?"

"Jungo was here to get some ingredients, but Jungo thought Jungo should make something good for Airi and Hiro before the marriage."

"**WE'RE NOT GONNA MARRY!"**

"Jungo never make crepes, so Jungo hope it'll come out good. Please wait a little bit."

As much as Airi want to protest more, the offer of a tasty crepe was too tempting to be missed for her. As dumb as he is, Jungo's a chef- albeit in-training. After this entire 'lovey-dovey' walk with Hiro, she could use some refreshments to minimize the impending stress. On second thought, by staying inside this store and taking their time to eat crepes, it will spare her further possible embarrassment until the appointed time with Fumi.

"Airi, Hiro, what flavor do you want?" Jungo asked from under the counter.

"Chocolate and banana!" Airi answered, before looking at Hiro, "…You?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[The same as yours, darling.]

[Strawberry and lemon of loving passion!]

**[I'll rather have you for lunch.]**

* * *

Airi's face goes red all over, like an overcooked beef. That does it. Airi couldn't take it anymore.

_***smack, SLAM!***_ Hiro's face is planted into the table by Airi's mid-air punch.

"Airi, what do you want to drink?" Jungo asked, oblivious to Hiro's plight.

"…O-Orange juice!" Airi couldn't stop blushing.

"Hiro?"

Hiro couldn't answer since he's out cold, so Jungo decided to give him orange juice too. Jungo is trying to open a cardboard box labeled with 'oranges', but…

"Hmm. The top won't open."

Jungo lifted the box- to find that the box has no bottom. …And Io is crouching down inside it, hiding.

"…," Io is staring at Jungo, blushing like mad.

"…," Jungo doesn't know how to react.

Jungo put down the 'cardboard box camo' back to its place, as if nothing's happened.

"Airi. There's no oranges."

"A-Anything's fine! Just let me drink something, okay!?"

Inside the dark and narrow space of the cardboard box, Io is letting out silent tears of joy and shame.

…

Osaka

[**SOME**DAY, 12:30]

**/Shinsekai – Osaka Main Branch**

"And… done. Phew."

Doctor Otome Yanagiya just finished tending her newly unexpected patient, Makoto Sako. When she came here two hours prior, the poor officer's body was tattered with punch and kick marks. Orthus and Yuki Jyourou ended up wasting their remaining MP for healing spells, thus forcing them to rest inside the summoning app. As if it wasn't bad enough physically, Makoto also suffer mental trauma that is… rather disturbing.

"Makoto, are you feeling better now?" Otome asked as kindly as possible.

"Yes. Thank you, Otome," Makoto nodded weakly.

"So… Can I ask you few questions regarding your condition?"

"Sure."

Otome take a deep breath.

"When you came here, you muttered the word 'pedophile', is that right?"

Makoto's face shook uncomfortably. This is going to take a while.

"Y-Yes, I did say that…"

"And you said something about… um, _peeping_ at Kageyama, Shijima, and Akie?"

"I-I think I did…"

"That's not true… right?"

"N-No… I mean yes, but not that I did it on purpose…"

Otome cut the conversation by offering Makoto a glass of water, which she took for granted.

"I think I get the gist of it… You were doing your daily routine as usual, but by some unfortunate turn of events, everyone in the Tokyo branch mistook you for having… improper intentions?" Otome concluded.

"Yes! Exactly! I-I'm innocent!"

"Makoto, calm down."

Otome offered Makoto another glass of water, which do the job. The poor officer needs someone to believe in her so badly, but jumping the gun like that would only make her worse.

"Makoto, I believe in you and I wouldn't mind helping you out of this dilemma," Otome is looking straight at her eyes, "But right now you're in no condition to vouch for yourself, so I want you to spend the night here to recover. Tomorrow, I'll come along with you to clear any misunderstanding with the Chief and everyone else. Okay?"

Makoto nods weakly, slightly relieved. Otome left the room to let her rest.

"Haaaahhh," Otome sighs deeply once she's far enough from Makoto's room, "Psychology is soooo not my field. Glad I didn't take it in college."

Otome decided to buy two cans of juice; one for Makoto, and one more for herself. But she didn't realize that the moment she's far ahead enough, Koharu entered Makoto's room.

"Miss Makoto, right? Good afternoon."

"G-Good afternoon, Koharu."

"Miss Makoto likes kids?"

_***stab***_ that pierced Makoto's chest like an arrow.

"Mom said adults who want to marry children are bad!"

_***Screek!***_ the patches on Makoto's wounded heart were ripped apart. Otome need a parental counseling, badly.

"I-I… I know that, but… W-What should I do…?"

"Easy! Let me tell you! _***whisper, whisper***_"

…Five minutes later.

"Makoto, I brought you vegetable juice- Huh?"

Makoto is nowhere in sight. In her place, Koharu is sitting on the patient's bed.

"Mom, can we go to Kanda now?" she let out an innocent smile.

Otome feel a migraine coming. Jesus, what has Koharu done?

…

Nagoya

[**SOME**DAY, 13:00]

**/Sakae – Yamada Park**

Airi has decided that staying in the shop any longer will risk her chastity, so she's taking a walk in the park (literally) while slowly enjoying her crepe.

"Mmm… This crepe tastes great!" Airi exclaimed in joy.

Jungo's crepes, despite only following a worn-out recipe book left at the shop, turned out pretty well. The chocolate and banana melts in Airi's mouth, raising her mood. Speaking of Jungo, he stayed in the shop to clean up.

"You. Stay. Away!"

Hiro, still in his love-crazy state, stalks Airi wherever she goes, to this park included. He's still trying to be lovey-dovey with her, to the point of the latter getting paranoid. Crepe in left hand, cell phone in right hand, Airi is ready to blast away Hiro should he get any closer than 5 meters.

_**#**__ Airi won't let you get closer. What will you do?_

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Try again.]

[Give up.]

**[Eat crepe.]**

* * *

_**#**__ Jungo made you an asparagus chicken crepe. …It tastes good._

"Jungo's really good at this, eh? I wonder if should try cooking too…," Airi wondered before snapping at Hiro, "Oh no, you don't! Don't even think of me cooking for you as your wife or anything!"

_**#**__ How does Airi read your mind? Girls are scary._

Airi continue to walk, with Hiro following suit 5 meters back. The park is empty, completely vacant of demons and humans alike. The afternoon breeze made these two teenagers relax more than they expected, until they meet a guy in striped red suit.

"You!" Airi barked, "Anguished Cone!"

The mysterious guy in red comb his messy white hair, slightly amused. Alcor his original name or Al-Saiduq his desired name should someone ever need a name to call him, and lastly 'Anguished **O**ne' as he prefer to preserve his identity, didn't expect something like this.

"It never occurred to me that I'm a humorous type of 'person'," he chuckled, "But yet someone could make something funny out of me. That's how wonderful human's potential is."

"What do you want? I'm busy!" Airi asked, pointing her cell phone… and still eating crepe.

"Don't be alarmed. I'm here to deliver a message to Shining One."

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[What message?]

[Date interrupter. Shoo.]

**[Want some crepe?]**

* * *

Airi does a face-palm. Anguished one tilts his head in… amazement.

"Thanks for the offer, but no. My, my. I didn't expect you to be one of the affected, Shining One."

"…Affected? What are you talking about?" Airi wiped her mouth with a handkerchief.

"Have you noticed on how Shining One acting strangely today?"

Airi glares at Hiro. Hiro blissfully gazes at Airi's face. Airi does another face palm.

"It's a demon's spell. To undo the effect, you should defeat it."

"What demon is that and where is it now?"

"I'll give you one hint: a demon you met before has a grudge against you."

"To me, Hiro, or…?"

"By the way, this day exists on a different timeline, created by an author's imagination on the fanfiction net website."

"Huh? What?"

"The author allows you to live in a more peaceful version of the survival days, without any Septentriones. In exchange for entertaining the readers, that is."

"…What's that supposed to mean?"

"Please ignore that. I was just talking to myself."

"Okay…?"

"That's all I could say. Show me your potential, humans."

A.O. vanishes into thin air, leaving the puzzled Airi and indifferent Hiro.

…

[**SOME**DAY, 13:00]

**/Fushimi – Parking Garage**

A certain man in purple jacket is looking around the trashed parking lot warily. He used abandoned cars one by one as cover, to move forward undetected by any passerby.

_("Ronaldo, over here!")_

The ex-cop known as Ronaldo Kuriki, ducked around a corner to found one of his resistance friends coming out of a sewer entrance.

_("Is this the new route? Is it safe?")_

_("We cleaned up any demons down there, it's perfect!")_

_("Good. Now, let's- Someone's coming!")_

Alerted, the friend retreated down the sewer and closed the hatch. Ronaldo immediately run off to opposite direction as a decoy, as expected of a leader.

"Halt."

Ronaldo's pathway is blocked by certain female officer he has known well: Makoto Sako!

"Guess today's my unlucky day."

Ronaldo acted his best as if she just found him on hiding, not for any operation. Makoto took a step forward, which initiate Ronaldo's instant reaction of taking out his silver cell phone.

"Calm down. I come here to negotiate," Makoto stated calmly.

"Negotiate? Hotsuin's pawn like you can't be trusted!" Ronaldo pointed his phone aggressively.

"I'm here on a personal behalf. It has nothing to do with JP's or the Chief."

That lowered Ronaldo's aggressiveness a little. Not that he trusted her words, it just Ronaldo knew her enough to notice that she's not lying at the moment. Still, he keeps his phone at ready, just in case.

"Speak."

"I will put a blind's eye should I ever discover you or any of your group doing any activity that disrupt JP's mission, from this day on forth."

The offer sounds too good to be true, especially to a careful man like Ronaldo.

"…In exchange for?"

"I want to ask you a favor."

"What favor?"

Makoto paused a few seconds, before looking at Ronaldo with unyielding determination in her eyes.

"Make me a woman."

_***chirp, chirp, chirp***_

"…I beg your pardon?" Ronado asked.

"Make me a woman," Makoto repeated.

"…Please say it one more time."

"Make me a woman."

…Apparently Ronaldo's ears aren't playing tricks on him. Makoto's eyes are dead serious, so the chance for this to be a joke is slim to none.

"Makoto… what do you mean by making you a woman?"

"To make me a true woman, by-"

"-Stop. I get it."

Makoto is so serious, it's not funny. Ronaldo's head is in so much pain; he put back his cell phone so he won't look silly.

"So," Makoto spoke, "Do you accept?"

"No," Ronaldo refused outright.

"If you refuse, I'll call for backup and bring you to the chief right this instant."

"What happened to 'I'm here on a personal behalf'?"

"If it comes to it, I'll resort to force."

Ronaldo is scratching his head; he is puzzled, enraged, and… embarrassed.

"Just accept her, Clicky. Problem solved."

Ronaldo turns his head in surprise, to see Joe standing behind him!

"What the- When are you…?"

"From the beginning. Blending with the shadows has it merit," Joe chuckled, "Say, Makoto. Why do you want Clicky to be the man who will 'make you a woman'?"

"Considering my situation, it can't be anyone from JP's and has to be a full adult man. Out of everyone, Ronaldo's my only hope."

Joe smiles playfully, "You didn't consider me?"

"You had a lover, don't you Akie?"

"Aww, I'm busted."

"…And you're not… fit to my needs," Makoto blushes a bit, "You ARE handsome, but…"

"Ouch, that hurt! But I'm happy to be called handsome," Joe laughed, "Clicky, don't run."

Ronaldo was about to escape, but Joe grabbed his wrist just in time.

"Joe! Let me go!"

"If you run right now, you'll never be a true man~"

Ronaldo had to make an excuse. Fast.

"I have to create a world of equality! I can't… risk my man's dignity for it to come true!"

Joe didn't expect Ronaldo to play along. This will be fun.

"You mean… You will break a pure woman's heart to in order to achieve your goal?"

"But I…!"

Makoto is coming closer to Ronaldo, looking straight into his eyes. Joe let Ronaldo's free to see what will happen next… Only for Makoto to hold both of Ronaldo's hands tightly, not letting them go.

"Ronaldo Kuriki. I, Makoto Sako, shall be a woman worthy of your affection and care. Henceforth I ask of you: make me a true woman and protect me with all your life, for in return I shall love no one else but you."

Makoto Sako has just proposed to Ronaldo. Proposed him to marry her, similar in fashion to an ancient Greek marriage ceremony. …That, or Ronado has gotten insane and he is currently dreaming in hell, trapped in an illusion made by a Succubus. He thought he was fighting for justice, but… Ronaldo closed his eyes and accepted his punishment.

"Sweet, Makoto! That was a **raiiinbooow-rate** proposal! _***whistle~***_"

…Why he could still hear Joe's annoying voice? Ronaldo opened his eyes. Makoto is still right in front of his nose, putting her utmost serious face. Words 'MARRY ME' are carved into those deep, beautiful blue eyes. Makoto's previous words start to sink into Ronaldo's mind, which turning his face red and accelerate his heartbeat's velocity.

"**I love you, Ronaldo**," Makoto spoke again, "Will you be my husband?"

_THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP_. Why, oh why, Makoto is looked like the most beautiful woman Ronaldo has ever seen at this moment!?

_("NO! Ronaldo, get a hold of yourself! You're an agent of justice! You have to crush evil that is Hotsuin! Don't fall into a devil's temptation!")_

That's what Ronaldo tried to tell himself, but… In his eyes, Makoto is looking more and more like an _angel_… Please be gone, hormones!

…

[**SOME**DAY, 13:30]

_-These 3 events simultaneously happening at 3 places-_

Osaka

**/Shin-Imamiya – Festival Gate**

"Hee ho! We had so much fun, ho!" a Jack Frost laughed happily.

"We never met humans as kind as you three, ho!" a Pyro Jack added.

"Oh, stop that! You kids will make me blush!" Daichi laughed like an old man.

For more than two hours straight, Keita and Hinako were playing with the Frosts Army on Daichi's demand. They were playing merry-go-round, seesaw, Jungle Jim, Ferris wheel, Haunted House, and many more. It wasn't just physical exhaustion; it also bundled up with mental exhaustion from summoning their corresponding demons to run the whole festival attraction.

_("Raiju, Lailah, and Barong for electrical power. Chernobog, Python, and Tezcatlipoca for Haunted House. What else did we summon, Keita?")_

_("Who cares? I'm going to kill him with my bare fists!")_

Hinako was so tired that she prefers teaching her dancing class three hours in a row. As for Keita… he's breathing heavily, but doesn't look that much annoyed.

"Keita, don't you hate this kind of 'bonding' stuff?" Hinako asked, still sweating.

"…I do," Keita calmly wipe his sweats with his boxing towel.

"You don't seem to resent Daichi that much, though."

"What of it? He's lucky that he's acting loony; otherwise I would've killed him."

"…Oh, really? You seemed to enjoy playing with them."

"I don't. Shut up and don't talk to me."

Hinako giggles playfully. Keita had a bad feeling.

"Oh~ I know what's going on with you, Keita~"

"I told you to shut up, didn't I? And you don't know a thing!"

Keita step away from Hinako to drink a mineral bottle he had in his boxing sack. Hinako slowly tailed behind him, waiting for the right momentum.

"But I DO know! Keita, you put up with Daichi's craziness of playing with demons," Hinako grinned, "Because Daichi's fatherly antics… remind you of your father, right?"

_***SPURT***_ Keita bursts out water from his mouth. About 70% of the H2O he had drunk is splattered to the ground, enough evidence that Hinako was right on the money.

"…Idiot!" Keita hastily wipe his wet mouth and shirt, "That stupid freak? Remind me of my old man? Very funny."

"I'm not convinced, Keita," Hinako is enjoying this, "Your reaction practically gives away your real answer."

Keita is desperate to hide a faint blush that's forming on his cheek, for it made him looked like some innocent boy who just received a birthday gift from his pops. It was in vain though, as-

_***snap***_ -Hinako already took his embarrassing facial picture with her cell.

"You bastard…! Delete that!"

"No way. I will share this to everyone else."

"I'll crush your phone and feed you to demons!"

"Really? Say that after you catch me!"

Keita chases Hinako around in circles. Hinako's slick dancing moves flow flawlessly from excitement, while Keita's boxing footwork is in jumbled mess from embarrassment. It's obvious who the dominant one is.

_***clap!***_ From afar, Daichi has clapped his hands to stop Keita's & Hinako's chasing sequence and attract their attention to him.

"Son! Honey! Look what I got!" Daichi smiles happily.

Hinako quickly hides her phone on her… private, much to Keita's anger. Still, the two decided to look at the thing that made Daichi so worked up. Daichi is holding a big golden ticket, with these words inscribed:

* * *

EXCLUSIVE LONDON FAMILY TRIP TICKET.

FREE TWO-WAYS TRAVEL TO LONDON AND YOUR HOME COUNTRY! FREE MEALS AND FREE GUIDE TO LONDON'S MOST FAMOUS TOURISM SPOTS, AND MANY MORE! FAMILY MEMBERS WHO PARTICIPATE IS UP TO 4 PEOPLE MAX.

* * *

"The Jacks children gave this to me as a present," Daichi grinned, "We could go for a vacation with this, free of charge!"

Hinako instantly gleam with desires for travel and wonders of foreign countries.

"OH MY GOSH, DAICHI! London!? I always wanted to go there! I want to visit the _**Pineapple Performing Arts School**_!"

"Of course, honey! Let's put place that as our first London trip list!" Daichi scribbled a messy writing of a list on a random paper he pulled out of nowhere.

"Sweet, Daichi! I won't regret marrying you for real now!"

Hinako hugged Daichi out of excitement, and the pair is laughing happily. Whereas Keita…

"…_**Repton Boxing Club London E2**_…," Keita muttered silently.

"Huh? What was that Keita?" Hinako asked.

"None of your business."

Keita is glad that they didn't hear it; spamming useless fantasy of visiting and sparring in foreign boxing clubs is a silly dream, one of his silly dreams that he must achieve by his own hands. Not by a stupid ticket owned by a stupid guy, and certainly not when the world is infested by demons-

"Says who, Keita!? We could go to that boxing gym, too!" Daichi busted out suddenly, "A father's ticket is a son's ticket!"

Keita feel that he's been cornered by a powerful hook.

"H-How did you read my mind, you bastard!?"

"My," Hinako grins seductively, "So that's the place you want to go, eh… _**son**_."

Keita want to uppercut himself for slipping his tongue. There's no way he ever trust other people for supporting his dreams! Hell no!

"Honey," Hinako says to Daichi, "Put that boxing gym first on our London trip list."

"Taken care of!" Daichi corrected his paper.

"Are you an idiot!?" Keita yelled at Hinako, "London is already busted up, moron! Japan's the only land left!"

"I know that, and you know that," Hinako, "But you still say the place of that name."

"Shut up!"

"Is that so? Even when we could go after we restore the world?"

"…Ah. T-That's-"

"Honey~ Keita doesn't want to go with us, he'll be staying home~"

"W-Wait, you two bastards! I also…! …Oh, shit!"

Daichi and Hinako laugh softly, while Keita couldn't hide his blush any longer. This scene looks remarkably like a mom and a dad teasing their only son; not for off-time quick laugh, but merely… a family's affectionate bonding.

"You don't have to hide it, Keita," Hinako is looking at Keita; her smile is serenely soothing like a motherly figure, "Having smaller dreams under bigger ones is not embarrassing. It shows that you truly plan ahead for your life. You should be proud of yourself."

For once, Keita couldn't snap back. Why… did he have to feel this way? Weak emotions such as embarrassment, fascination, admiration and affection…! Perhaps… Keita… was never cut to be a lone wolf, after all…

"Son," Daichi put his right arm on Keita's shoulder, while his left on Hinako's shoulder, "Honey."

"…What?" Keita responded; his tone is audibly softer than usual.

"…Yes?" Hinako responded; a slight smile on her lips.

"**I LOVEEE YOUUU TWOOO SOOO MUUCCHHH!"**

Like a crazed lunatic, Daichi attempt to cheek-kiss both Keita and Hinako! Way to ruin the atmosphere, dude!

"Back off!" Keita struggles hard to cover Daichi's 'chuuing' lip from reaching his left cheek.

"You're REALLY crossing the line this time, Daichi!" Hinako does the same struggle protecting her right cheek.

"Why~? Daddy just want hugs and kisses~"

Both Keita and Hinako streams down from their temporary happiness down the sour hatch. These two are brought back to their previous wits' end, as instantly as it vanishes before. However, the range is too close to take out phones or lay a jab at Daichi's stupid face. Plus his head locks on the two preventing them from taking a better position. Do they have to face a humiliation of obtaining a monkey's lip trails on their cheek…!?

_***PIPIPIPIPIPI**__*__** *PIPIPIPIPIPI***_ two phones are ringing.

Daichi flinched. It was the golden time window for Keita and Hinako to break free, and they sure didn't waste it.

_***JAB!* *SLAP***_ Keita's jab and Hinako's slap landed on both sides of Daichi's cheeks.

"Oww! What did daddy do…!?"

Daichi whimpered on the corner, muttering 'Am I not the #1 dad?' etc. Keita and Hinako sigh in relief, thus ignoring him.

"Ah. It's mine," Hinako inspected her purple cell phone.

"…And mine," Keita inspected his red cell phone too.

…

Nagoya

**/Sakae – Yamada Park**

Hiro and Airi have finished their crepes. Airi has put down her cell phone and wiped her mouth with her handkerchief. She's feeling slightly better after hearing A.O.'s advice, while Hiro is…

"Hiro! Now we're done eating, let's search for clues-"

Fast like lightning, Hiro embraces Airi tightly in his arms.

"Wha- Wha- **WHAAAA!?**" Airi blushes furiously, panicking.

Hiro hold Airi's slender figure in diagonal-Casanova style. Romantic, no?

"Put me down, you jerk! Pervert!"

_***clag, clag***_ a weird noise could be heard in the distance. Hiro checked his surroundings, but there's nobody else. There are trash cans, streetlamps, and a cardboard box, but there are no people there. Hiro decided to ignore it and begin to speak.

"Airi, I have something important to tell you."

"Buh!? Y-You speak!?" Airi is shocked, "Wait, you DO speak, but…"

Hiro, the supposedly silent protagonist speaks out of the choice window? Something big is going on, Airi can feel that.

"Airi, ever since we met that day on the station… I can't take my eyes off you," Hiro spoke so gently he looked like someone else.

"That means you're a pervert!" Airi scowled.

"While it's your looks which took my interest… It was your personality that captivates my heart."

Airi is experiencing déjà vu. …She should stop watching those classic soap operas with her mother.

"You're always angry by the smallest bit of frictions… Always being jealous of other girls… Always so childishly getting worked up for selfish goals…"

Airi blushes in anger, having her faults exposed in the open.

"S-So what, if I am!? You got a problem with that!?"

"But deep down, I know… You're the kindest girl I've ever met."

Airi's blushing again, but this time… not of anger.

"Beneath that raging mask, lies your innermost kindness. You're acting fierce, but deep down you care so much about everyone… including me."

"W-What's with those sugar-puffs pickup lines!? L-Like you know anything about me! W-We do work t-together as a team this one week, but…"

Hiro's turquoise eyes meet Airi's gray. His gaze is both soothing like an angel and tempting like a devil at the same time. Airi could hear her heart skipping beats like mad; despite her inner struggle to make it shut up, it won't stop throwing loud tantrums. What's happening to her?

"It's true I don't know enough about you yet, but I know about this one thing. Back at the crepe shop, you knocked me out with your fist."

"Y-Yeah, I did! You deserved that!"

Hiro flashes another smile, "When I was out cold, you could've tied me up with ropes or something similar so I won't be following you anymore. It should be easy for you with all the tools in that shop. Should Jungo interfere, you could easily convince him to not free me until you are far enough to hide."

Airi gulped, "Eh? I wasn't thinking about that. If I had gotten that idea, I would've-"

"You should've thought of that idea exactly as you those ropes scattered on the shop's floor, or you could simply take your crepe and leave me behind, especially on how mad you were that time. But you didn't; not only that you didn't do anything to render me immobile, you even waited for me to wake up and give me my crepe."

"It was so the crepe won't be wasted! Don't get any weird idea, you idio-"

"Actually after you left the shop a bit ahead of me, I asked Jungo why he made me asparagus chicken crepe. Do you know what his answer was?"

* * *

_-Flashback-_

"_Airi, what flavor Jungo should give to Hiro's crepe?"_

"_How am I supposed to know!?"_

"_Then, Jungo have to pick him something."_

_As Jungo quietly choose the available ingredient, Airi suddenly ask:_

"…_Hey, Jungo. Is there any asparagus and chicken?"_

"_Asparagus and chicken?" Jungo inspected the ingredients, "Yes, there are. Why?"_

"_Make him asparagus and chicken crepe."_

"_Asparagus and chicken crepe?"_

"_It just… I knocked his face so hard to the table, so, well… I-I think asparagus and chicken will be good when he wake up later…"_

_Jungo is silent for a few seconds before smiling._

"_Alright, Jungo will make that for Hiro."_

"_Don't forget to make mine first!"_

_As Jungo is cutting the ingredients, he says this:_

"_Airi."_

"_What?"_

"_You are very kind to Hiro."_

"_W-What!? I-I just don't want him to blame me later should he has further injuries, that's all!"_

_Jungo only smiled. In middle of cooking, Jungo took a glance at Airi, who is wiping Hiro's messed-up face with her handkerchief. Jungo pretend not to notice and continue his cooking._

_-End Flashback-_

* * *

Airi cursed Jungo under her breath for being a blabbermouth. But that didn't last long as she can't take her eyes from Hiro's gentle smiling face. Why she can't just break free and punch him in the face? Is it because her heart is beating like an awful orchestra?

"Despite my entire disturbance to you since this morning, you were worried about me and took your time to take care of me."

Airi want to at least yell at him with a violent rebuttal, only to come out empty. She couldn't object any of Hiro's argument… for all of them did happen. The question is, why did Airi took the trouble by caring for Hiro? It's true that she's already become his friend; but she wouldn't go that far, unless that she is actually…

"You are a kind person, Airi. That's why I…," Hiro spoke, his cheeks are red.

It couldn't be… Hiro is about to say…!

"…I lo-"

_***CLAG, CLAG***_ another weird noise interrupted the romance. Hiro took another glance around, but there's nobody- Wait, did that cardboard box just move? …Nah, must be his imagination.

"Ahem," Hiro recomposes himself to say it, "The truth is, I… **I love you, Airi**. Will you… be my girlfriend?"

Hiro… Hiro just… confessed his love for Airi! _THUMP-THUMP. THUMP-THUMP_. Airi's heartbeat is at maximum speed, impossible to be turned down into low gear. This isn't like herself! She shouldn't be… seduced… like this.

_("W-What's wrong with me? Why did I… didn't reject him outright…!?")_

Airi come to a realization. She's been keeping it buried all this time, but right now she can't help but to let it roam free.

_("It… It can't be. I… to Hiro… t-that towards him I… I actually feel…")_

"Airi…," Hiro is blushing even more as he slowly moves his lips… towards Airi's.

Airi can't run anymore. Not because Hiro's grip to her is too strong. Not because she is paralyzed or petrified. It is because she could no longer deny… her own heart.

_("Hiro… Actually… About you…")_

Hiro's and Airi's lips are about to meet… 3 cm… 2 cm… 1 cm…!

_("I also…")_

_***PIPIPIPIPIPI**__*__** *PIPIPIPIPIPI* *roll, roll, roll, crash***_

By reflex, Hiro and Airi break free from each other just 0.1 cm before their lips touched. Airi's phone was ringing, breaking such lovely moment. Hiro sighs in disappointment, while Airi sighs in relief.

_("T-Thank goodness…! Hiro and I almost… A-Almost k-k-ki- AARGHHH!")_

Airi is scratching her long red hair like crazy from the over-embarrassment.

_("I-It was because of the demon's spell! Yes, all of this it's that demon's fault! I was almost swindled by H-H-Hiro, of all boys… T-Then again, maybe I won't mind so much if it was him who kissed me- … N-NOOO! __**WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING!**__")_

Hiro is very, very disappointed. For two phones to be ringing at such moment, such bad luck! Wait. There were two phones ringing. One is Airi's, but the other? Hiro checked his phone, to find that it wasn't ringing. Then whose other phone is ringing? Hiro looked around, but there's nobody else- Huh? That cardboard box from before is gone. Could it be…? Nope, a wind must have blown it away. The noisy rolling sounds from before did sounds like some sort of heavy object rolling on the ground, but that can't be a person right? Regardless, Airi is checking her phone now.

…

**/Fushimi – Parking Garage**

Ronaldo is at loss of what to do. His eyes are plastered to see Makoto's innocent face, beautiful blue eyes, and lovely lips.

"C-Cut it out with that puppy eyes of yours!" Ronaldo tried in vain to stop Makoto.

But it's useless. Makoto is looking more and more like an angel in Ronaldo's eyes, so much that he couldn't tell whether this is a hallucination or the real her. …Even more so that now she… is about to kiss him!

"Ronaldo… Let's seal our union in this blazing tender kiss…"

_("Good Lord! Is this my punishment from teasing a girl in kindergarten? Is this for not accepting that girl's valentine chocolate long ago at elementary school? Is it also for turning down a senior's love confession back then at junior high? That female teacher at high school was pretty, but I rejected her for appropriateness! That's why you made Makoto your angel to pick me up into your kingdom? Sweet mother of Yahweh, have mercy!")_

_***PIPIPIPIPIPI**__*__** *PIPIPIPIPIPI***_ two phones are ringing.

By reflex, Ronaldo break free from Makoto.

_("That… was close…")_ Ronaldo thought to himself in relief.

"Clicky, I believe it was my phone and yours ringing," Joe sighs, "Man. And it was getting to the good part!"

"Joe."

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

Opposite of Ronaldo, Makoto lets out a deep sigh. She seemed very, very, VERY disappointed that she couldn't kiss him in time. Even now, her _puppy_ eyes are pleading at him to ignore the phone and redo the kiss. …Ronaldo avoids eye contact with her and starts to open up his cell phone instead. Joe does the same, after closing a certain app in his phone…

…

_To be continued_

/

* * *

**Next Episode**

_A dead face (v) delivery site_

_Nicaea_

"Welcome to **N**agoya **I**nternational **C**hristian **A**ssembly, N.I.C.A. church."

"WE. ARE. **NOT**. DATING!"

"I didn't see your foot right there."

"I haven't even bought you a ring!"

"This is… one happy family!"

"Right, Jungo-wee?"

"Welcome, welcome, **welcome**, lovely lovers!"

"**KAAAAMMMMMAAAAAA!"**

"Chawanmushi for everyone."

"**Areadbhar!"**

"Chief, I…"

"…Cerberus."

**1****st**** Day**

Someday's Snicket - II

"Koharu."

"Yes, mom?"

"You're grounded."

* * *

/

Author's Note

That's it. Not bad for a first chapter, eh? I used Jungo's habitual speaking in the anime to make his lines funnier. The 'Snicket' in the day's title taken from 'Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events', while Pineapple Performing Art School, Repton Boxing Club London E2, and N.I.C.A. were taken from real-life locations in London, England and Nagoya, Japan respectively. All found by Google :)

I hope you found the story funny enough, with three kinds of weird events. It took me almost a month to plan everything and finish typing the first part, more so with many corrections I put. Stay tuned for next chapter to find out who's the mysterious demon mastermind, and the fate of demon tamers! Thank you very much, and please review! :D


	2. Someday's Snicket - II

Foreword

We meet again! I'm truly happy that the first chapter received many positive reviews! Sorry for the late update, since it took me longer than I thought, not to mention I was preoccupied for two weeks… But that's over now. Without further ado, here's the continuation of Devil Survivor 2 laughter!

Main Character's name in the manga, **Hiro Kageyama**, will be used. Hibiki Kuze in the anime is a bit… Please just enjoy the story =)

**General Summary**: Joining JP's means to fight demons, saving people, and slaying gods for peace right? …Nope. Devil Survivor 2 humor fanfic. Different summary for each chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Devil Survivor 2 and its respective characters belong to Atlus. I own the story idea and the original stuff I add on my own. JP's is pronounced 'jips', by the way.

Index. Since this chapter is 45 pages long (sorry), use this index for easier reading. Write the section name along with the brackets to find it.

(The Beginning)

(The Introduction)

(The Cleansing)

(The Epic)

(The Battle)

(The Epilogue)

/

**Juvenile People JP's**

©2013 superecho

/

**1****st**** Day: Someday's Snicket - II**

Chapter Summary: Makoto Sako's lack of proper etiquette triggered a chain reaction of unbelievable events and embarrassing agony. Turns out, a demon was behind it all! Will everything ends well for the demon tamers?

/

(The Beginning)

Tokyo-Osaka-Nagoya

Everyone is silently reading the new e-mail message.

/

* * *

FROM: Fumi

SUBJECT: Demon located

The demon causing this disturbance has been located and I already prepared the proper countermeasure. Go see the attached map for its location and come here ASAP to exterminate it.

P.S. Unless you want to continue whatever it is you're doing.

_- 1 attachment._

* * *

/

…Obviously, to continue _THE_ **KISS**. Nothing happened for a good one minute, until everyone minus Hiro, Makoto, Daichi, and Joe screams this:

"N-N-N… **NOOOOOOOO!**"

…

/

**1****st**** Day**

Someday's Snicket - II

/

Nagoya

***** Vivaha Sanskar **-!****BATTLE****!-**

[**SOME**DAY, 14:00]

**/Akebono-cho – N.I.C.A. Church**

_***screeee***_ the large ebony double doors are slowly stretching open. Bright sunlight illuminates the entire chapel, warming it with love and hope. Fumi who was busy on her computer set within the darkness, stop her work and cast her gaze towards the gleaming ray. Seeing familiar silhouettes of people, Fumi's in for a greeting.

"Welcome to **N**agoya **I**nternational **C**hristian **A**ssembly, N.I.C.A. church."

This place could be considered the best international church in entire Japan, for so many people from all over the world came to worship God every week. Most of its services are conducted in English and translated to Japanese, so everyone could pray their hearts out without puzzling language barrier. Perhaps its newest standing point is… that this church stands firmly without any damage to any of its properties, from in and out. Probably demons couldn't set foot inside because of the Lord's protection? …Hence, Fumi's welcome greeting was left ignored as nobody bothered to vibrate their vocal chords.

"Hmmmmmm," muttered Fumi, longer than necessary, "What do we have here?"

There are three groups of people. On leftmost from Fumi's sight, there are Hiro and Airi. Hiro is entangling his left arm around Airi's right arm, akin to a couple. Hiro is smiling and looked so happy, while Airi is blushing very intensely and could only cast her glance downward from embarrassment.

"Hiro and Ban, together?" Fumi snickers, "Interesting combination, I must say."

Hiro scratches his messy black hair, like the awkwardly-in-love teenager the spell turning him into.

"Thank you, Fumi. Actually, starting today we're officially a cou-"

_***SLAM!***_ "AUGH!" Hiro screamed in pain.

Hiro looked downward to see that his left foot was stomped by Airi's right foot. It hurts so much; he even speculates that his toes were broken.

"A-Airi, you don't have to be…," Hiro lowered his voice when he saw Airi's eyes are fierce white like a demon, "…shy…?"

"WE. ARE. **NOT**. DATING!" she hissed quiet enough to keep anyone else from eavesdropping, but loud enough to intimidate Hiro.

"But don't you also like me? And we almost-"

_***SLAM!***_ "**AUGGHAH!**" Hiro screamed in great pain and agony.

Hiro looked downward again, to see that his right foot was cruelly drilled deep into the floor by such predatory force belonged to a black shoe; a shoe worn on the left leg of a certain high school girl named Io Nitta. When did she get here?

"Oh, I'm so sorry Hiro," Io laughs and smiles widely, "I didn't see your foot right there."

Hiro's previous pain was multiplied by tenfold. Did his toes are broken for real now? Hiro scans Io who is standing on his right side; almost her entire body was dirty with mud, as if she has just fallen from height. Rolling down from a stairs on a park, perhaps? Nah, Hiro is thinking too much. After all, Io doesn't seem to be hurt at all and she's smiling! A smile so pure, it's radiating aura of holiness through the layers of her clean eye bags. …Hold on, what's that chilling sensation Hiro felt on his spine?

"What is it, Hiro?" Io asked, still smiling very wide.

"Oh, nothing," Hiro's throat feel static, "You looked very happy."

"Am I? Oh, yes I am. I am so VERY **HAPPY**," Io's voice tone raised drastically it's terrifying.

_***crackle, crackle***_ Hiro could feel that the bones in his right foot is falling apart. He noticed that Io's left foot has gotten heavier on stomping his right foot, as if Io put down all her weight specifically into that part alone.

"I-Io, that hurts. Are you angry?"

"Angry? Me? I'm not. After all, Hiro is very happy with Airi, right? Why am I not happy, right? It's not like I have anything to do with the two of you, right? You picked Airi because she is cute, right? It's not like you want an unattractive girl like me, right? It's not like I mind at all if two of you want to kiss… **RIGHT?**"

Hiro's guts are shrinking smaller and smaller by each 'right?' word Io cooked up to maximum heat to fry his ears. Moreover, how did Io know that? She couldn't have spying over them using a camouflage like a certain Solid Snake, right?

"A-Airi… Help me… please?" Hiro desperately pleads.

Instead of sympathizing, Airi crushes his hope by giving him a threatening glare.

"…If you tell anyone, **YOU WON'T SURVIVE ANOTHER DAY**."

Hiro drops his head down like a dead fish. Both Io and Airi go 'humph' and throw away their gaze from the poor teenage boy.

"Teens," Fumi is amused at this sight.

Part one done, now she's switching channel to the middle group. There are Makoto, Ronaldo, and Joe. Ronaldo is standing with a vacant stare like a zombie. Makoto hugged Ronaldo's left arm like a newlywed. Joe is standing behind them, grinning.

"Sakocchi, you look happy," Fumi greeted as casually as possible.

"I do, Fumi. I was just engaged," Makoto is looked so blissfully happy.

"I haven't even bought you a ring!" Ronaldo cried out angrily.

"Rings could wait," Joe butts in, "What matters are the feelings for each other, right?"

"Shut up, Joe."

"Ronaldo, should I be Ms. Kuriki or should you be Mr. Sako?"

"Either way is fine… W-wait, I don't-"

"Where should we stay? I had enough money to buy a house in Tokyo… But we could live in Nagoya if you want."

"Clicky is very lucky~"

"Shut up, Joe!"

"How many children should we have? I don't mind quitting JP's to take care of them…"

"L-Like, I said, I don't-"

"You're a half-Brazilian, so our children will be quarter-Brazilians… I can't wait to establish a household life with you…"

"Clicky is cute when blushing like that~"

"SHUT UP, JOE!"

Fumi was almost laughing hysterically, but her social skills parameter weren't high enough to employ that kind of reaction.

"Adults," she only grinned widely.

Part two complete! Switching to the last but not least, the rightmost group! There are Daichi, Keita, and Hinako. Keita's on the left, Hinako on the right, Daichi's in the middle. Daichi is entangling his left arm to Hinako's right arm like a couple. But the fact that Daichi's right hand holding Keita's left hand like dragging a child…

"Married couple with one child?" Fumi teased.

"Tch, tch. Wrong, Fumi!" Daichi said confidently, "This is… one happy family!"

_*snap*_ that was the sound of a lone thin wire of patience remaining inside Keita's head.

Keita broke free from Daichi's grip, took out his cell phone, and about to press the hot dial for Assassinate-

"I'll killmmpphh," fortunately Hinako restrained both Keita's phone and mouth just in time.

"Honey, take good care of our son!" Daichi commanded.

"O-Of course honey… _(Keita! Can't you just hold it for a few more minutes!?)_"

"Gghmmphhkkhh! _(You're not the one being the child, bossed around like an idiot!)_"

"Honey, we were married in this church, right?" Daichi asked.

"Huh? O-Of course we were! _(As if!)_"

"Back then you was fat, but you were dieting so hard so you could impress me… Good memories."

_*snap-snap-snap*_ that was the sound of three patience wires inside Hinako's head. Hinako heads in for the kill, but Keita obstruct her path.

_("You were going to kill him too, right Keita!?")_

_("I want to kill him personally!")_

_("Let's just kill him together!")_

_("No! He's my prey, fat woman!")_

_("What did you say, pansy kid!?")_

It's now Keita and Hinako wrestles bent on snapping each other's necks, with Daichi watching this blissfully as a 'family bonding'. …Any fitting words here other than 'stupid'?

"Misfits," Fumi commented slyly.

Part three, also done. Fumi was expecting part four, but she is satisfied enough for now.

"Fumi! What are you doing!? Where's the demon who caused this!?" Airi yelled.

"You mentioned a countermeasure in the mail, right!? Activate it! NOW!" Ronaldo shouted.

"I kill you!" Keita barked at Hinako.

"No, I kill you!" Hinako barked back at Keita.

Fumi chuckles, "What's the hurry? You guys are enjoying yourselves."

"**WE DON'T!"**

"Don't hide it, I understand. After all, I've been all lovey-dovey too with him," Fumi said, unflinching, "Right, Jungo-wee?"

…Jungo-wee? Okay, Fumi is mind-controlled again! To the opposite of Fumi's spot lies a big table with dozens of chawanmushi mug lined up neatly, and freshly cooked. Jungo is seated just behind the table, preparing another mug of chawanmushi.

"…Huh? Did you call for Jungo, Fumi? I'm sorry that Jungo's been so busy preparing these chawamushis that Jungo hardly speaks to you at all."

After saying that, Jungo's concentration shifts back to his dishes. Everyone glares at the manipulative tech wizard.

Fumi sighs, "Can't at least play along? You're no fun, Jungo. Fine. Your demon target is over there."

…

* * *

(The Introduction)

Everyone's eyes are directed towards an altar. That's when-

_***FLASH!***_ a big lamp atop the altar is turned on. _***flash, flash, flash, flash, flash***_ other smaller lamps around the church followed. The church happens to be quite large and well-decorated, as expected of an international religious building.

_***POOF***_ a thick pink smoke is forming behind the altar, constructing a humanoid shape. _***FLASH!***_ as the smoke grows thinner, a gentlemanly figure with light blue skin, fair complexion, and charming face is visible. A beautiful garland of flowers made from roses, lilies, daisies, olives, jasmines, lotuses, hibiscuses, and various leaves is circling around his neck. His left hand carries an unlit European bronze torch, pointed gracefully to the white ceiling above. A simple-yet-clean robe is wrapping almost three-quarter of his body, while other parts except his supposed private areas are bare. He's dressed wildly seducing like an India descent, yet his facial features are dashing akin to European noble. Tip-toeing his silver shoes forward, he smiles at the group.

"Welcome, welcome, **welcome**, lovely lovers!" the demon said, "I, the magnificent **Hymen**, shall bless each one of you in this glorious entourage!"

"Hey, that's strange…," Airi whispers to nobody in particular, "That guy said it was a demon that's holding a grudge against us. But we never meet this one before."

This demon named Hymen places his right hand on his left chest, "Without further ado, let us begin."

_***POOF***_ another thick pink smoke engulfs Hiro-Airi and Ronaldo-Makoto pairs. Mere seconds later, they vanished.

"Airi? Makoto? Where did you guys gone to?" Hinako panicked.

"…Use your eyes, idiot. There," Keita raised his chin toward the altar.

_***POOF***_ another pink smoke appears in front of the altar and quickly dissipates revealing the two pairs.

"What the-!?" Airi is confused.

"A teleportation spell?" Ronaldo concluded.

_***BURST***_ Hymen's torch suddenly lit up a blazing _PINK_ flame- which didn't emit smoke, but rather snazzy flower pollen. The pollen spreads widely all across the church, setting up the mood of romance which igniting the flame inside Hiro's and Makoto's heart. …It has opposite effect for the others, though.

"Hey! Speed the damn countermeasure thing!" Keita is losing his patience.

"Keita, daddy told you: no bad words!" Daichi lectured.

Keita is about to do Daichi in, only to be blocked by Hinako, and there they go wrestling again.

"I'm preparing it. It's still about 75%," Fumi informed.

"Let us begin the marriage vow," Hymen spoke solemnly like a priest, "Starting from this couple: lawful Ronaldo Kuriki and chaotic Makoto Sako."

"Wait! I won't let you do this!" Ronaldo swear.

_***BLAST!***_ "Ggghhh…!" Ronaldo was knocked ten meters aback by a strong force of red energy. (Holy Strike, FYI)

"No…! Ronaldo!" Makoto, whose arm grip was forced apart from her 'lover', immediately rushes to his side.

"What an ungrateful man!" Hymen hissed, before calming down to his kind demeanor, "Let's move on, shall we?"

Airi gulps. This can't be good at all! She has to break free from Hiro's left arm tangle! Since she just happened to stow her cell in her right pocket, she can't take it out like this!

"Let us begin the marriage vow," Hymen repeated, "This young couple: free-willed Hiro Kageyama and lawful Airi Ban."

Airi couldn't afford to snap and ending up like Ronaldo. She has to do something else!

"Wait just a damn minute!" Airi interrupted, "W-We can't get married yet!"

Hymen is pondering, "…Which is why? Your ages, 18 and 15, are legal ages for marriage in your country."

Urk. Japan regulations. Moreover, how did this demon found out their ages!?

Hymen starts, "Hiro Kageyama-"

"I do."

"Hey! He hasn't even asked!"

"Airi Ban-"

"She does."

"Don't answer for me, you idiot!"

"Hereby I declare the two of you a legal married couple!"

"What! Nooo!"

Everyone at the distance gasped. Io flashes a creepy smile at Fumi.

"Fumi… you ARE done, aren't you?"

Fumi giggles, "Five minutes ago."

"Dang it, Fumi! You tricked us!?" Hinako snaps.

"No harm done. Right, Io?"

Instead of replying, Io points her pink cell phone at Fumi.

"…Geez," Fumi frowns, before making her usual cheery grin, "Oh well, I had my fun."

…

* * *

(The Cleansing)

_*tap*_ Fumi pressed the Enter button on her keyboard. _***rumble***_ the church is shaken one time. _***whirr, whirr, whirr!***_

On each side of the church's wall, multiple mini-antennas are radiating microscopic radio waves. The waves bounce around the entire building, enveloping everyone inside.

_***PLUSH***_ a thick pink fog comes out of Hiro's body and vaporizes into nothingness.

_***PLUSH***_ _***PLUSH***_ the same thing happened to Makoto and Daichi.

"…Huh?" Daichi come to his senses, "What am I doing here?"

"Daichi! You're cured!" Hinako is relieved.

"Tch," was all Keita commented on that.

"…Ugh, where am I?" Makoto looked around, "…! Ronaldo Kuriki! What are you doing here!?"

Ronaldo picked himself up from the ground; he's feeling much, much better, "Thank God. I have no regrets should I got captured now…"

"…Hiro? Hiro! Are you feeling alright now?" Airi asked.

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[What happened to me?]

**[I had this dream…]**

* * *

"Idiot! It's not a drea- W-Wait, I mean…!" Airi stuttered nervously, "THAT was a dream! But THIS is real, okay!?"

Meanwhile, Hymen had no clue that his spell was just dispelled; no pun intended, and he continue his speech.

"If anyone would like to object to this unification of love, speak now or stay silent forever."

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Hold it!]

[Take That!]

**[Objection!]**

* * *

_***ZZZVVAARRRII!***_ Hiro's shout as he dramatically points his left index finger toward the demon. It put everyone in the state of surprise. Despite just woke up from his trance and know nothing, Hiro had the balls to raise such a valiant objection without decisive evidence!

"**W-W-W-WHAAATT!?"** Hymen is completely shocked that he fell backwards behind the altar, burning himself with his own torch in the process, "Argh! HOT! HOT!"

Out of all people, Makoto is the one most puzzled. She approached Ronaldo, her phone at ready.

"Ronaldo, WHAT is going on here?"

"…I had nothing to do with all this."

Concluding that interrogating Ronaldo would be futile, Makoto scanned the whole church and her eyes stop at Fumi.

"Fumi, what happened here? I believe you can explain the best of all of us."

Daichi fumbled his way behind Fumi as he was feeling absolutely uncomfortable by Keita's death gaze tailing him around like a homing missile.

"If you please, Fumi? I'm getting anxious of whatever just happened…"

Fumi smiles as she continues to type on her computer rapidly; as a genius professor, explaining her research was one of her favorite pastime.

"Alright. This morning that demon casted a mystical gas of dehydrated pheromone condensed into thick pink fog above the Diet Building, which by taking advantage of the air ventilator system connected to JP's underground base, passed through the magical energy detector thus under 0.014 speed of a regional cyclone, almost invisible to human eye, but once entering a human's respiratory system-"

_***CHARGE***_ a mass physical energy is focusing into Io's body. A Power Charge.

"Fumi," Io said, still smiling creepily, "Japanese, please."

Fumi grunts, "I thought you were smart enough to follow me, Nitta."

"JAPANESE," Io's still smiling; …if you count a creepy, dark aura Joker's sneer as a 'smile', that is, "**PLEASE?**"

Apparently Io was way too angry; that her usually smart brain is fully occupied by fury at the moment, hence leaving no free space to encrypt whatever Fumi was explaining.

"I-I agree, it sounds all Greek to me…," Daichi's head is spinning.

"Same here," Hinako looked tired.

"I wasn't listening," Joe laughs.

"I don't care," Keita grunted.

"I agree with Daichi. Fumi, don't try to be a smartass right now!" Airi barked.

"I have to agree with them, too. Make it brief, Fumi," Makoto joined.

"What she said," Ronaldo followed.

"…," Jungo doesn't get sidetracked at all and continue cooking his chawanmushis.

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Seconded.]

[We're buddies, Joe!]

**[But I DO understand…]**

* * *

_**#**__ Fumi smiles at you…_

"At least one of you is a factoring genius. I could kiss you, but I won't. Well, you were taken anyway."

Airi blushes and grits her teeth, "**SHUT UP, FUMI!** And you too, Hiro! Don't be a smartass!"

"Fine, fine. I'll make it as simple as possible," Fumi sighs, "Listen. This morning, that demon cast his spell at the Tokyo branch. The pink fog hits you all when you were sleeping, and it caused your sexual tendencies to rise through the roof."

Daichi flinches, "S-Sexual tendencies? You don't mean…"

"Yup, about hormones and opposite sex, mind you. Your persona will be taken over by the spell to do whatever sexual-related activity available to any opposite sex nearby. Be it flirting, holding hands, hugging, kissing or something more the illusionary chemical substance has to offer…"

Hiro, Daichi, and Makoto ARE worried now. They glanced at Airi, Hinako, and Ronaldo respectively. All the latter three blushes, so it made them blush too.

"Hinako, for the record… Did I do something to you…?"

"…Daichi, do you REALLY want to know?"

Daichi gulps and zip his mouth. Keita only growled, annoyed.

Makoto is truly fizzled at this revelation. If it's any kind of SUCH THING, she would prefer doing it with Hiro-

_("W-What am I thinking!?")_ Makoto blushes like tomato, again.

"R-Ronaldo, I don't remember anything, but…," Makoto voiced out shakily, "Did I do s- I mean, such kind… of thing to you?"

Ronaldo is still blushing; he didn't answer and only avert his gaze.

"O-Or did YOU do something to me…!?"

"In the name of justice, **I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!**"

Hiro is looking at Airi. She's blushing like mad, so much that her face is almost blended into her fiery red hair.

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Want to talk about it?]

**[…I won't ask.]**

* * *

**#** Airi seems relieved…

"Phew," Airi's blush thinning, "T-Thanks…"

Back at her computer set, Fumi is annoyed to the edge.

"Heeelooo? I'm not done explaining yet, so could you lovebirds pay attention here for just a few more minutes?"

Everyone turns to Fumi, deadpanned.

"Better. Now, the demon raided the Tokyo branch with his spell. However, every other staff there wasn't affected at all. Meaning, that demon deliberately targeted you guys. He's doing it for revenge, nonetheless."

"B-But we never met him before!" Airi protested.

_***crumble, crumble***_ a noise sounded from the altar can be heard. Everyone turns to it, to find that Hymen has woken up from the shock.

"Holy spirit of love and harmony!" he roared, lifting his torch in the process, "The humans have broken free from my guiding spell into love and happiness! No! What should I do!?"

Joe gives the demon a quick lookover, "If you ask me, he doesn't look like the vengeful type."

"I never said that it was HIM who has vengeance," Fumi stiffens with a grin, "He's doing it for a particular demon we know very well, Ban."

"Ai, anyone come to mind?" Hinako asked.

"No, not anyone I could think of…," Airi casted her gaze down, trying to remember.

"You know the guy too, Hiro, Daichi," Fumi added.

"Eh? Us?" Daichi's face clearly shows that he had no clue at all, "Do you know who it was, Hiro?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[Oh, it was HIM!]**

[No idea.]

* * *

_***slam!***_ that sound originated from the altar, Hymen was slamming down his cup on the ebony wood surface.

"I promised my fellow love god friend, that I will make these people at Tokyo happy! Especially the red-haired girl with lovely belly button, for she's his favorite! And that young cold chief boy who never experienced love, for my friend owed him a very large debt! I even made every single one of their friends in Tokyo to be added into this lovely fray of affection, for I can't stand him being severely wounded by that burning spear he couldn't do it on his own! But the girl didn't get to kiss her love interest, the woman didn't get to marry her dream man, and the chief boy didn't even show up! My dear friend, I have failed you!"

That was a mouthful of the demon, but definitely what everyone needs to digest to figure out everything. After taking a deep, deep breath, Airi's lifting her head and opens her mouth.

"**KAAAAMMMMMAAAAAA!"**

_*ngiiinnnggg*_ the whole church is filled with Airi's angry cry, deafening Hymen and Hiro's group.

"Bingo," Fumi sneered while still protecting her ears.

"That Kama… he's doing it AGAIN…!" Airi's teeth looked sharp, "Even tricking another demon to humiliate me… I HAVEN'T PUNISHED YOU ENOUGH, HUH!?"

Airi wants nothing more other than incinerating Kama to ashes now. Hymen wants nothing more other than escaping this place right this instant.

"Fumi… I thought Kama was dead after… that time," Makoto sighs.

"Well, it seems he survived the Pasupata. Thus he bears a grudge after get beaten senselessly by Ban and get tricked by the Chief. I assume while he's still alive, Pasupata took most of him, hence he can't do anything on his own. That's where this Hymen guy comes in."

"That was… reassuring," Makoto let out a somewhat relieved sigh.

While she's feeling sympathetic for Airi and the Chief, Makoto's glad that the facts are straightened. She's not the cause of this whole mess; it was Kama and Hymen. Everything that happened before was not her fault. Until-

"Fumi, why was it Yamato didn't get affected? Plus, Makoto didn't meet Kama personally, so how come she was also targeted?" said Hinako, pondering about a few things that don't match up.

"Hey, Hinako's got a point!" Daichi supported the theory, "Moreover, how come Joe is completely fine? It's not fair!"

Joe laughs, while Fumi's lips curved into an evil smile. Makoto feel terrified all of sudden.

"Hey, you," Fumi called out.

"Y-Y-Yes?" Hymen was still terrified from Airi's death glare.

"Explain to us how that spell of yours actually work. In full detail, if you would."

"Fumi! Don't interrupt me! I'm going to kill him after squeezing Kama's location out of him!" Airi hissed.

"Easy, Ban. Don't you want to know how he messed up you and everyone else? After hearing his answer, he's all yours."

Airi grinds her teeth aggressively for a bit, but eventually gave a small nod. She didn't stop death glaring Hymen, though.

"Answer me, and perhaps she'll go easy on you," Fumi threatened with a casual smile.

"O-Okay! Just don't kill me! Well, I've been meaning to target those three _*pointing at Hiro, Daichi, and Joe*_ and the Chief boy into charmed state… But the suit man wasn't affected by my spell at all; even he has no magical barrier around his body whatsoever."

Everyone is looking at Joe.

"It was because his strong heart. He had a lover, and held absolute loyalty towards her. Pretty impressive."

Everyone is looking at Joe in total disbelief.

"Heheh, I may look like this, but I'm a loyal type of guy!" Joe feels happy.

Everyone is still looking at Joe, completely not buying it.

"What's up, guys? Do you seriously think that I'm a Casanova type of guy who couldn't be satisfied with one woman?"

Everyone nods. Joe is fake crying, but nobody pay attention.

"As for the Chief boy, my spell desperately tries to enter his body by bypassing the energy inside him… But only a small fraction of it managed to get through, and it's not enough to make him sexually attracted to women."

Makoto comes to a realization. Chief's been using the Dragon Stream for years, so it's no surprise that some of its power lies dormant within him.

"-That's when he was suddenly angry about something, alas the spell energy inside and outside of his body was repelled. That whole energy originally aimed at him accidentally transferred to a human nearby…," Hymen points at Makoto, "That woman. But it's strange… I was specifically calibrating my spell to work on men only…"

"Sakocchi, is there something you want to tell us?" Fumi asked with a sadistic grin.

"N-Nothing! It just this morning I-" Makoto mentally slap herself for almost blowing her own cover, "-I was not having a proper appetite!"

"Hey, that's true!" Daichi convenes, "This morning I had my tummy growling, but I didn't feel like eating anything in the slightest… It must be the spell! Man, and I left my plate half-uneaten! What a waste!"

"Don't worry Daichi, I've eaten yours," Joe revealed.

"What!? I thought I absentmindedly thrown it to the trash can!"

"You stashed it there after closing the lid, so it's okay for me to eat 'em."

"Dang it, Joe! And you call yourself an adult!"

Seeing Daichi and Joe bickering over food, Makoto is so glad. She successfully mislead the topic, thus avoiding the-

"Wait," Daichi stop his bickering, "This morning… I think something happened…"

-worst possible scenario! Makoto's whole body is tensing up like a frightened kitten.

"I think I woke up, take a bath, eating some muffin, and… Man, I couldn't remember!" Daichi scratches his brown hair, "Hey Hiro, how about you?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Nothing in particular.]

**[I think my room was entered by-]**

* * *

"Aaahhh!" Makoto yelled desperately, "Hymen is getting away!"

Everyone forget the thing they were discussing and glare at Hymen.

"I-I didn't move one inch!" Hymen claimed his innocence.

…Makoto glad she could drop the subject. The last thing she need is another embarrassment! Though, while Hymen is a demon, using him as a black sheep doesn't feel right for her… JP's (or Yamato, to be specific) has tainted Makoto's heart with eeevil.

"Enough of this sexual crap," Keita took a step forward menacingly, his red cell phone on standby, "All I need to do is to kill your sorry ass!"

"Indeed," Fumi smiles in satisfaction, "I'm happy enough with your answer. Good riddance, Hymen."

Hymen cringes in fear, "W-Wait! You said I'll be spared should I answer!"

"I said 'answer me, and _perhaps_ she'll _go easy_ on you', right?"

"…Evil! You're an evil mad woman!"

"Was that a compliment? I prefer 'mad scientist'."

…

* * *

(The Epic)

"Unfair! This is totally unfair! You humans were always plagued by divorces and breakups… All I wanted is to help! After all, a god like me has better judgment than you mere humans!"

"Why you little…!" Keita's growling.

"I'm not doing anything wrong! By using my spell, each one of you will meet your best match and live happily ever after! Admit it! You were enjoying this whole situation, were you not!?"

"W-Why, I would never…!" Airi tried to counter-

"Uh… Ai, I think while it's very inappropriate, I did enjoy it a little," Hinako cut.

"W-What are you saying!? Stupid Hina!"

"Then, you didn't enjoy your time with Hiro swooning over you? At all?"

"…Ggghh…! I-I…!"

"I had to agree with Ms. Kujou," its Ronaldo's turn to speak his mind, "Forced love was never a good thing, but having someone's presence to comfort you… I can't say that's a bad thing."

Things becoming uncomfortably silent; even Keita couldn't deny that he did enjoy it, no matter how in the slightest amount.

"Heh. You humans did enjoy it, and yet you repay me with dirt! Now you admit that I was right! If you just give up and let my spell guide you…!"

"**ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?"**

That scream pierced everyone's ears by surprise. It's originated from… Makoto!?

"Guiding our love lives using your spell? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Makoto looked genuinely angry.

Hymen is taken aback, but won't give in, "What do you know, human!? Humans always lived under guidance of the gods! Humans have no right to defy us!"

**BGM**: The Operation Starts

"We humans possess a free will of our own. Gods might have taught us the principles of life, but it's entirely up to us to choose our own fate."

"F-Foolish!" Hymen won't back down, "Humans become astray because they won't follow us gods!"

"Astray or not, it's the choice we made by ourselves so we won't have any regrets in the end!" Makoto isn't going to lose, "Be it career, or…"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[Love life.]**

[Relationships.]

* * *

"Exactly," Makoto is satisfied by Hiro's backing, "Perfect match or not, we decide that for ourselves. We choose who we want to love and protect, all by our hearts. Gods or not, nobody have any right to step into that territory!"

"T-That's true!" Daichi does a follow-up, "No matter what other people think, I have this particular girl in mind, and no god can change it for me!"

"Atta boy, Daichi!" Joe praised, "Even if you gods picked a Cleopatra for me, I would keep sticking to my girl."

"I don't care for chicks," surprisingly, Keita followed, "But should I ever want one, I'm the one choosing, not some god freak."

"Jungo agrees with everyone," surprisingly, Jungo also joins! "My master once said; if I want to marry someone, I have to decide it on my own."

"Gotta agree with the boys," Hinako smiles satisfactorily, "I have very specific criteria for my dream man, and I don't think I'll let you mess with it."

"For once I agree with stupid Hina!" Airi joined in, "Whoever guy I want to be with, it's none of you gods' business!"

"As boring as it was, they had a point," Fumi joined too, despite still typing on her laptop, "I don't care for an arranged marriage, but having a stupid guy as a husband would be annoying."

"So very true," Ronaldo's the last to join the speech, but certainly not least, "Only the humans themselves can guide their own love lives. Your 'godly guidance' is nothing but selfish tyranny! That is NOT justice!"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[And we'll prove it.]**

[We'll present the evidence.]

* * *

_**#**__ Makoto smiles at you…_

"Thank you, Kageyama. With you around, I have nothing to fear."

Makoto smiles soothingly at Hiro, as if she had just found 'the one' for her…

**BGM**: off

"So, we shall prove it by killing him. Right, Hiro?" Io said ever so casually.

_*record scratch*_ the heroic atmosphere from before has gone without a trace.

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Not exactly…]

**[Sort of.]**

* * *

"I-Indeed," Makoto regained her cool behavior, "We shall beat you to make sure you learned your lesson and never do it again!"

Hymen is at complete loss after receiving so many blows of logic statements. He has been proven wrong with solid line of testimonies- that he couldn't afford to admit that he's the guilty party!

"Urk… Uhh… SHUTUP, SHUTUP, SHUTUP…!" Hymen shouted so loud, and that's when-

**BGM**: Countdown

_***SLAM!***_ the church's front door was violently slammed open by a group of strong-looking demons. Everyone who was near the door took a few steps away, as there are about 30 of them…!

"Heya there, Hymen my good man!" a Lord Nan Dou greeted, "You're conducting a marriage ceremony, eh? Mind to give us last-minute invitations?"

"Hey, great timing!" Hymen feel relieved, "The couples just won't behave, so could you deal with them to obey the procedure? That'll make you our special guests!"

Lord Nan Dou laughed, "Fear nothing, my good man! We'll teach these humans the manners of a sacred ceremony!"

Lord Nan Dou and other strong demons lined up at the entrance for combat.

"Ugh, reinforcements…! We're surrounded!" Makoto swallowed in annoyance.

"This is that Hymen's guy lucky day, eh? Just great," Joe commented sarcastically.

Before anyone could devise a strategy plan however, Jungo is approaching the demons all by himself!

"J-Jungo, you stupid…! What are you doing…!?" Airi gasped at the his dareness.

"…," Jungo stared at Lord Nan Dou and his army.

"What do you want, boy? You want to be the first, eh?" Lord Nan Dou threatened.

"…Are you guests?"

"Indeed we are!"

**BGM**: off

"Then, have some of my chawanmushi."

…Nobody could afford to speak.

"…Huh?" was all Lord Nan Dou could spit.

**BGM**: A Moment of Rest

"Airi want to marry Hiro, Jungo made these dishes for any guests that should come."

"…Say what…?" Lord Nan Dou can't help but to drop his sword in confusion.

"Jungo didn't have enough ingredients, so Jungo gathered many things from the stores after leaving some money… so my friends and the guests would be happy."

"…You…," Lord Nan Dou slowly picked up his fallen sword, "…You're… a good boy… I think."

_***THUD***_ everyone fell to the ground dramatically from the overboard silliness.

"T-That idiot…!" Keita could feel his strength leaving him.

"So that was why he left me in such a hurry back then…!?" Airi want to choke him.

"Even at a time like this… all he could think is chawanmushi…?" Daichi feel limp.

"I don't know what to say…," Io looked tired.

"I don't know whether to be amazed or annoyed…," Hinako is kneeling down confusedly.

"Jumbo, food is only served at a marriage hall after the ceremony. Not that I mind…" Joe laughs.

"That's not the point, Joe…," Ronaldo is unsure that he could get back up.

"I feel tired all of sudden… and I thought it was only when Fumi and Otome around…," Makoto is at a loss.

"Oh, stop being drama queen," Fumi is annoyed, "This situation is beneficial for us."

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[How so?]

**[Hey, you're right!]**

* * *

All the demons near the entrance lose their aggressiveness and instead forming a line in front of Jungo's desk.

"Chawanmushi for everyone."

"Thanks, boy!"

Jungo is happily starting to serve chawanmushi to each one of the demon guests. On the altar, Hymen is furious.

"You guys! You were supposed to be helping me!"

"Well…," Lord Nan Dou try to reason, "To reject such a generous offer is not what a gentleman like me would do."

"Plus, this sonny's dish produces such a fine smell," an Arioch behind him said.

"ME SWALLOW GOOD FOOD WHOLE!" a Fenrir barked happily behind.

…With that, none of those demons paid attention to Hymen anymore.

"Who knows? This goofball has his uses," Keita commented dryly.

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[You can't hate his guts.]**

[Jungo is awesome!]

* * *

"Hmph," Keita muffled under his breath.

**BGM**: off

"Agh! Damn!" Hymen bit his lip, "If it comes to this…!"

Out of nowhere, Hymen pulls out six cell phones and basically scatters them all over the church with a strong magical throw. _***BURST***_ a miasma is formed by the cell phone and a demon comes out of it._** *BURST, BURST, BURST, BURST, BURST***_ the same thing happened with the other five cell phones.

"Hmm?" an Orochi wonders, "What did you call us for, Hymen? I was having sake!"

"Defeat those humans so they will submit to my marriage procedure!" Hymen shouted.

"Playing matchmaker again? You don't know when to quit…," a Laksmi warned him.

"Listen, guys! If you refuse to fight, I won't come should any of you get married!" Hymen is desperate…

"UNFAIR!" an Asp protested, "BUT WE HAD NO CHOICE. FINE"

"So we're going to fight anyway…?" Daichi sighs in disappointment.

"It's different, Shijima. They're not as numerous as the group near the entrance," Makoto explained, "We can take them on."

"Just one warning, guys. Hymen will try to cast that spell on you again and directly this time," Fumi warned.

"So, we get to see Makoto goes over heel with Ronny again?" Joe does know the most inappropriate time to make a joke, "Oh, maybe a role-reversal!"

"**SHUT UP, JOE!**" Ronaldo's on the verge of outrage.

"I can reduce the effect with all the equipment I set up, so it won't be permanent, but…," Fumi sounds uncomfortable, although that smile is suspicious, "I need to keep operating my computer for that. If I'm knocked out, nobody will be able to operate them and you guys will be lovey-dovey all night long."

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[I don't mind that.]

**[We'll protect you!]**

* * *

"Good to hear," Fumi smiles sleekly, before resuming her work, "I'm counting on you."

Makoto is staring at a certain man, "Ronaldo."

"I understand, I'll help you guys for this battle," Ronaldo said firmly, before activating his summoning app.

_***VOOM, VOOM***_ an Inti and an Ananta were summoned from two blue magic circles as Ronalod's allies.

"Umm… everyone?" Io seems to return to her usual cheerful self, "May I fight on my own?"

Daichi's freaking out, "Whoa, Io! It's dangerous!"

"It's fine… I just want to channel Lugh's power in me… so I could fight better."

Io activates the summoning app from her pink cell phone and-

_***VOOM, VOOM***_ two blue summoning circles are formed, and two demons: Thor and Titania are summoned as Io's allies.

"Lady Io, do thee need my thunder?" Thor asked solemnly.

"Umm, I…," Io stumbles in explaining things, as usual.

Suddenly, as if understanding everything by just looking at Io's face, Titania waves a hand.

"You don't have to say anything. Men need to be punished for their disloyalty."

Io nods happily at her. Meanwhile inside the party's stock, Oberon is shaking in his boots.

Makoto comes closer, looking worried, "You don't have to, Nitta. We could handle this."

Io, seeming distraught, walks away from the group near the entrance with her demons following, "It just… Because of Hymen, I saw something I really don't want to see today…"

Everyone is confused, but what Io refers to was seeing the scene where spell-induced Hiro confessed to Airi. With that, strong blue energy is flowing up from Io's cell phone to her right hand, rising all the way into her right shoulder.

"Lugh…! Lend me your power…!" Io called out to him.

As a faint image of Lugh is materializing above, it condenses into massive thunder energy which enters Io's body. Soon afterwards, she floats and her eyes are gleaming greenish-yellow. Her cell phone telekinetically inserted itself into Io's pocket, and now on her right hand, a long greenish-yellow thunderbolt is glowing brightly.

"_**Alright, everyone…!**_" Io's voice is still like herself, albeit remixed of light and heavy tones from two people, "_**Let's go!**_"

"I understand… I also want to give that demon a piece of my mind personally. I'll fight in the front!" Makoto returned the fighting spirit.

"Me too! You better put me there as well Hiro, for I'm going to wreck that guy good with all I got!" Airi is very enthusiastic… at being angry.

Daichi gulps for seeing the girls, but tries to be manly in front of them, "T-This is it, Hiro! We win our rights or enslaved by love…!"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Let's just fight already.]

**[For freeeedoooomm!]**

* * *

Everyone took out their cell phones and ready to fight.

…

(The Battle)

(Author's note: For this battle, Io and Ronaldo aid you as guests. Io is fighting in her Deity form, while Ronaldo is fighting normally. Jungo and Fumi are not available, for reasons stated above. Let's survive!)

**BGM**: Challenge to the Fate

* * *

**Victory**

Defeat Hymen!

**Defeat**

Fumi is defeated.

All allies are defeated.

* * *

**Required**

* Makoto's dispatchment

* Airi's dispatchment

* * *

By using the demon summoning app help display, Hiro's group inspects the enemy's status.

/

**Enigma** Hymen Lv. 79 _*Unique*_ [superecho]

**HP**: ?. **MP**: ?. St 13, Ma 34, Vi 26, Ag 22.

**Ph**: -. **Fi**: St. **Ic**: St. **El**: -. **Fo**: Nu. **Cu**: Nu.

_CMD_: Holy Strike, Drain, Gigajama.

_PSV_: Anti-Almighty, Beast Eye, Grimoire.

_RCL_: Harmonic Hymn. [superecho]

Inflict Lovesick on a Human team for 3 turns. Range: 2

/

Hiro is suggesting to check other demons as well, but everyone dismissed it with 'no need to describe generic demon enemies, for it took too much space' argument… whatever that means. Next, everyone is inspecting Io through the help display.

/

**Deity** Io Lv. 75

**HP**: 935. **MP**: 362. St 30, Ma 33, Vi 14, Ag 13.

**Ph**: _St_. **Fi**: _St_. **Ic**: _St_. **El**: _St_. **Fo**: _St_. **Cu**: _Nu_.

_CMD_: Areadbhar, Deathbound, Power Charge.

_PSV_: Ultimate Hit, Attack All, Double Strike.

_RCL_: Enlightenment.

/

…Nobody say anything, for fear of being murdered by Nitta-mode-goner.

Airi : "Enough already! Let's do this!"

Airi is positioned some distance in front of the altar, with Makoto a few meters behind her, beside Ronaldo. Daichi, Hinako and Keita are positioned near the entrance.

Makoto: "Dispatch!"

**/Hiro Kageyama is not dispatched./**

_*long and uncomfortable silence*_

Daichi : "Well… that was… anti-climatic."

Airi : "What the hell! Why do we have to dispatch you every time, anyway!?"

Hiro insist that Atlus is at fault, but nobody believes him. One bickering later, everyone decides to ignore the system limits and have _everyone_ dispatched. Hiro is afraid that Nintendo will sue them.

**[MISSION START]**

Hiro is simply moving forward on feet, feeling unmotivated.

"Be careful everyone! We can't allow him to trick us further!" Makoto took her move carefully.

"Just you wait, Kama! After ripping Hymen apart, you're next!" Airi activates her summoning app.

_***VOOM***_ a Xiezhai is summoned from Airi's white cell.

"Devil Flash! NOW!" Airi barked order that the poor sheep, as she rides atop it.

The shepherdess and her ride demonically speeding away, closing the gap to the main adversary by mere seconds. Airi looks like an angry leopard. Hymen looked like a helpless deer.

"Ha!"

"Mama!"

Luckily for him, a group of three Hitokotonusis is floating in-between them.

"Lower your fangs, girl, for Hymen merely spoke the truth," Hito-A said.

"You and that young man shall share a bright future together, enveloped in love and harmony which precedes the mightiest of hardships," said Hito-B

"All words uttered by us always come true, put your faith in it," said Hito-C.

_*beep*_ Airi pressed a button on her cell phone, blue magical circle is constructed in front of its camera and _***BLAST-KABOOOMMM!***_ Maragidyne spell casted out, consuming the three embodiment of echoes in flames.

"Nonsense! Lies! Scams! Get out of my way, you son of b*****s!"

A Dzelarhons pitied the poor demons, as now they're nothing but black shavings of leaves.

"It's no good to wield flame viciously like that, my dear."

Airi doesn't seem to hear, so Hinako fills in, "Forgive Ai, she has temperamental issues."

"**I heard that, stupid Hina!"**

"…See what I mean?"

"You receive my upmost sympathy, lady dancer. Now I'll be taking my leave."

"Huh? Is it okay for you to do that? Hymen said something about-"

"I'm already married, miss. I have no wedding for him to attend."

The volcano woman left after bidding Hinako a fine farewell. Meanwhile…

"You're in BIG trouble, LITTLE boy! Hiss! I'm dangerous AND drunk! Hic!" Orochi hissed and hiccupping at the same time.

"You want a piece of big?" Keita activates his summoning app, "Susano-o!"

_***VOOM***_ a barbaric humanoid demon wearing red cape and wielding legendary sword of Kusanagi materialized from the summoning circle.

"Orochi? …Yo."

"Hiss! Susano-o! You stole Kushi-chan from me and now you want me to be permanently single!?" the eight head of the serpent hissed venomous curses.

"It's Kushinada-Hime to you. I'm the hero. You're the EIGHT villains. She LIKES _me_. She HATES _you_. Suck it."

As Orochi hisses like crazy, his eight head shots down like deadly harpoons to commit murder with Hassohappa. Susano-o merely slumps his shoulders, completely uninterested in flexing his muscle. But he's gotta or his summoner will delete him from the app.

_***BLOCK***_ Null Phys. Mitama. Aww yeah.

Susano-o sighs as he swings his sword in vertical swoop, "Deathbound."

_***SLICE, SLICE, SLICE!***_ Orochi has zero head now.

"H-H-Hiss…! I won't-"

_***SPOWSH!***_ Keita 'Assassinate' it. Orochi has zero head FOR REAL now.

"Ahem, I have a question…," Daichi politely asked a Laksmi.

"My three sizes are immeasurable in human calculation standards," Laksmi teased.

"N-No! I wouldn't dare peeping on goddesses!"

"My bad, my bad. What was your question, boy? I'll answer seriously this time," Laksmi apologized, but she won't stop giggling.

Daichi clears his throat, "I read in the compendium… that you are Kama's mother…"

"He's handsome, but pretty foolish. What of it?"

"I wonder if you could-"

"As much as I love to tell you, I don't know where he is."

"Huh? You want us to…? But you're his mo-"

"That brat needs a good spanking, so I'm counting on you."

"…Yes ma'am."

"Want to practice the spanking on me, handsome?"

"Yes ma'a- NO WAY!"

_***JAB-JAB-JAB-JABBERWOCKY!***_ Daichi's embarrassed Multi-Strike was enough to pummel down Laksmi and other nearby demons in single execution.

Laksmi is slowly standing up in pain, but she's smiling, "That hurts, young man."

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"It's fine. I was testing you. You'll be a strong man in the future. Try to win your girl's heart, okay?"

Laksmi teleported out, and Daichi feel a sense of accomplishment. He takes a serious look to his 'dream girl' in question.

"NOT PaSS! DiEEEE!" three Abaddons are blocking Io's path.

"_**Get…**_," Io lays down a concentrated air of punch, "_**…out…**_," and another solid steel fist of wind, "_**…of the way!**_"

Her Twin Ultimate skill slaughtered the three angels of the pit like crushing grapes. Daichi gulps, wondering if he could live up with that.

"…She needs no help from us," Thor pouted for not getting a piece of action.

"She needs us for moral support. I was like that too before," Titania calmly drinks a tea which she took out from nowhere, "Would you like some, oh mighty son of Odin?"

Thor is disappointed, but nods anyway. Meanwhile…

"ME IN LOVE WITH ME WIFE!" a male Asp blocked Ronaldo's path, "WHY DIDN'T YOU?"

The Asp casted Agidyne, and it get absorbed by Ometeotl.

"I said it before. That's not justice!" Ronaldo give an angry look.

"SHE'S NOT YOU TYPE?"

"My type is someone who could do housework perfectly."

"SHE NEAT WOMAN, ME THINK SO!"

"Well… She's with JP's…"

"SO YOU WILL TAKE HER AFTER SHE WORKS NO MORE?"

"W-What? I never said anything like that!"

"BUT SHE THOUGHT SO!"

"How did you-"

Ronaldo turns his head to see a female Asp is talking with Makoto.

"ME TELL ME HUSBAND ALL SHE SAID TO ME!" the female Asp said.

"W-Wait! Speak no further!" Makoto is panicking.

"SHE SAID SHE TIDIES EVERYTHING IN HER HOME, SO SHE WON'T MIND MARRYING A POLICE OFFICER!"

Makoto cover her red face in shame.

"…Sako?" Ronaldo is looking at her with questions rolling his eyes.

"That was a hypothetical question! She set me up!" Makoto's voice is shaking.

Ronaldo sighs and turns to the Asp couple.

"I would prefer letting a tight couple like you live, so… Could you please go?"

"BUT HYMEN WILL NOT COMES TO OUR CHILDREN MARRIAGE!"

"He wasn't looking this way at the moment. I'll testify that I injured the both of you so bad you had to escape."

"THANK YOU HUMAN! WE WISH YOU TWO TO LIVE HAPPY!"

The two Asps leave unnoticed by others. The air surrounding Makoto and Ronaldo feel awkward.

"So… I'm your type, Ronaldo?" Makoto tried to melt the situation.

"Apparently. I'm still not sure unless we try it out," Ronaldo prefer to melt it too.

Makoto blushes slightly, "I-I'm happy about your feelings, but… There's this particular boy that I-"

"…I was just joking."

"…Oh."

"So Sako, you're-"

"I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE!"

"…I was about to ask if you're willing to quit JP's…"

"…Oh. No, I won't."

"…I'll be quiet now."

"…Thank you."

Moving ahead, a particular boy named Hiro will head face-to-face with Hymen in his next turn.

"Oh, no! Kangiten, get met to safety!"

Hymen's group passes through the altar's border thanks to True Phantasm. However, Hiro already got this covered.

_***VOOM***_ an Anubis is summoned from Hiro's blue cell phone. As the jackal god tilts his scale _***SWISH, SWISH***_ Hiro's team switches position with Airi's team via Warp Step.

"Hey! He's mine, Hiro!"

Hiro pretend to be deaf and begin his attack. He activates Ice Dance by pressing the Enter button on his cell. _***CRANK, CRANK, CRANK, CRANK**_* large ice pillars annihilated the two Kangitens on Hymen's team. _***VOOM***_ Hiro summoned the North Heavenly King, Bishamonten, to finish the job.

"**HIRO! DON'T PLAY DEAF WITH ME!"** Airi's scream hurt Hiro's ears, "Let **ME** finish **HIM**, OR I'll finish **YOU**!"

Hiro sighs; he's confused of what to do, but finally concluded that he fears angry _tsundere_ more than wrath of a god.

"Very well! If it is to protect thy fear for fierce girls, take my life!"

Hiro told Bishamonten to be quiet. And soon Bishamonten lifts the ornament on his right hand, which activates Matchless and enables Anubis to do Warp Step again. _***SWISH, SWISH***_ and they're back in their respective previous places.

"Hymen! You're mine!" Airi crackles her knuckles and browsing the most deadly skill on her app, "What skill should I kill you with…?"

"Zoinks! Time for my secret weapon!"

Hymen began dancing and singing gibberish, which fills the air around him with pink fog. The pink fog soon gathers and attacked Airi.

"Agh! What the!?"

The pink fog envelops Airi and vanishes after a few seconds. Hiro's spine feels cold so suddenly.

"Hiiiroooo! I love you!" Airi turn tail and dashes towards Hiro in 40y/5.0s speed.

Xiezhai feel its master has gone nuts, but he can't afford to break the app's command. And we're having 'The Boy Who Cried Sheep' live opera! …Except that the boy isn't lying in the slightest.

* * *

**/****Lovesick**** is an ailment which render a Human team to do nothing during skirmishes and had them blindly following a random ally of the opposite gender./** (The icon is a green heart symbol)

* * *

"Hiiirrooo! Let me kiiissss youuuu!" Airi screamed as she rides Xiezhai to catch Hiro like a mad fangirl. The poor boy regretted leaving Ammut in the party's stock.

Feeling jealous- Er, unable to watch his bro suffer, Daichi asks, "Shouldn't anyone stop this?"

"Ai has the Prayer," Hinako replied, "Who has Amrita!?"

_*groan*_ Hiro was pushed down to the ground by Airi. Bishamonten draws his sword, but Hiro command him to not hurt allies.

"Hiro… I love you, so let me kiss you!" Airi spoke so bubbly it's disgusting, "Later, I'll kill other girls in our group so no one will disturb us!"

Hiro reasoned that relationship doesn't work that way, but it did no good against a brainwashed _yandere_ fan girl. All hope seems lost, until _***FLASH* **_an Amrita spell engulfs Airi and clears her mind.

"Huh? Hiro, what are you doing on the ground?" Airi asked.

"Ahem… Ban," that voice sourced from behind, which is Makoto's, "I don't want to interrupt, but… I would be thankful if you will, err… stand up."

Airi surveyed her current position: atop Hiro. …Instant blush. She immediately runs away with smokes steamed out of her ears. Makoto help Hiro back on his feet, slightly blushing when holding his hand.

"Not enough! Love moooreee!" Hymen executes his unique skill again, this time hitting-

"Ugh!" Ronaldo yelled, before he turns to the nearest female, "…Nitta, did you know that I like bob hair?"

"**Areadbhar!" **Io throws her lightning bolt, Zeus-style. No hesitation.

"GIIIEEEGGHH!" Ronaldo got pierced by an intact lightning, but still not die. It's good to have high Vitality.

Hiro tugs Airi to heal Ronaldo both physically and mentally before Io killed him. Airi reluctantly agrees to use her Prayer_**. *VOAM***_ Ronaldo is back at the full health and sane. Makoto placed her hand on his shoulder, feeling sympathetic for a fellow pedophile. Not that she'll admit it, ever.

"Damn!" Hymen cursed, "Then next…!"

_***JAB!***_ Hymen was sent flying by a powerful hook from behind, dropping his torch in the process.

"Next, you will die," it was Keita!

"N-**Not so fast!**" Hymen unleashed Gigajama, which sealed Keita's skill, "**Gotcha!**"

"Gggh!" Keita was pushed aback by massive energy of Holy Strike, which passes through his Phys Repel, "You'll pay… for this!"

"Now my chance to run!" Hymen uses True Phantasm to teleport besides his remaining ally. Before you ask… yes, the computer is a cheating bastard, "Orobas, take out that woman and that man as well!"

Orobas is chanting his spell, directing it to Fumi and Joe, "I see the future! You guys will lose and bounded to love guide of Hymen!"

Fumi snorts, without even slowing down her fingers, "Meh. Fortune telling is an unreliable calculation method."

"While that sounds good, I prefer doing my own thing!" Joe smiles and activates his summoning app, "Come out, Rommie!"

_***VOOM***_ from blue magical circle utilized by Joe's brown cell phone, a demon in shape of a purple mirror appears.

"I told you many times! My name is Purple Mirror, not Rommie!"

"Eh. Mirror, Rommie, same thing."

"I'll kill you!"

"I'm a guy and over twenty. Tough luck, there."

As Purple Mirror groans, Orobas casts Mabufudyne _***CLINK***_ it reflected back to kill him and injures Hymen. Both Joe and his demon are too busy 'chatting', hence didn't notice.

"Nooo! I can't die here!" Hymen is being melodramatic, "Then, I'll warp besides the demons eating just right at the door…!"

_***SWISH, SWISH***_ Makoto switched places with Keita via Warp Step used by-

"Anubis!?" Hymen is shocked, "But you were supposed to be with that boy-"

As Hymen turned his head, he saw Hiro's cell phone display: **SDTP** – **S**ummoned **D**emon **T**ransfer **P**rotocol.

"Noo! I don't want to die here!" a desperate Hymen unleashes Holy Strike and Drain at Makoto relentlessly, abusing the Beast Eye ability.

"Jeanne d'Arc!" Makoto called out as she pressed a button on her cell.

_***VOOM***_ the French heroine with golden hair, long sword, and shining armor is summoned. She swiftly lift her sword upward to activate Hero Proof, which encaged Makoto's team with invisible steel wall and halves the damage of Hymen's rampage. His trump card wasted, Hymen is now just a sitting duck.

"It's over," Makoto announced her victory as she presses her hot dial, "Berserk!"

Flurry of Makoto's punches and kicks are raining down Hymen's body, penetrating him like Swiss cheese. As his HP dropped to 0, he let out one last 'aaargh' before dropping dead.

**[MISSION COMPLETE]** Earned 8000 EXP, 17000 Macca.

…

* * *

(The Epilogue)

[**SOME**DAY, 16:00]

**/N.I.C.A. Church – Garden**

All the haywire cell phones were destroyed, the demon groups left with tummies full, and Hymen was busted. But some people didn't consider that a happy ending just yet…

"Makoto! Let me rip him apart!" Airi cried out, her teeth sharp.

"I'm going to make this bastard pay! Move!" Keita does pretty much the same thing.

Hiro and Daichi are having a hard time blocking their path, for they want to kill Hymen, not sealing him like what Makoto is doing now. As for others, they're helping out Fumi and Jungo clean up inside.

"Don't be unreasonable guys; we are civilized humans, not barbarians."

_***BUMP***_ the stake stationed at the church's garden was pulled out after Makoto sent the codes from her cell. Hymen was all beaten up and paralyzed, but still awake.

"Now Hymen," Makoto spoke, "We will not kill you, but in exchange tell us where Kama is."

Hymen spits to the grass, "I will not betray a friend!"

Makoto sighs, opens up her cell phones and _*beep, beep, beep, beep*_ she dislikes this method, but it can't be helped _***VOOM***_ a small magical circle is formed, about to materialize a small demon…

"Hmph! You think I would fear a demon so ti-"

…In form of a cute, blonde-haired little girl wearing blue dress and white hair band.

"Nice to meet you, mister! My name is Alice!" the girl greeted politely.

All colors drained dry from Hymen's face. The humans stopped moving like corpses, even Keita.

"Alice," Makoto kneels down and pats her head as softly as she could, "This mister is named Hymen. He could tell you who will be your boyfriend."

"Really, Big Sis Mako!?" Alice squealed so _moe_-ly, you can't believe she's a demon, "A boy around my age, to play Massacre together with me?"

Makoto swallowed, but still showing her best smile, "True. You should ask him about it. You could also play with him as long as you want."

"Yaay!" Alice runs happily to Hymen, "Mister Hymen, who is the boy who will marry me in the future? Is he cute? Is he handsome? Is he kind? Can he murder people? Will he like Uncle Red and Uncle Black? When we will meet? Oh, I know! Let's have a tea party to talk about it! But before that, let's play Massacre together! You're it!"

"**AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"** Hymen screams so loud, a quarter of Nagoya could hear it.

"Oh, you don't want to be it? I'll be it instead! I'll chase you!" Alice's red eyes are both _cuuuteee_ …AND _murderous_.

"**SAKURAJIMA WAREHOUSE NO. 27 IN KONOHANA-KU, OSAKA!** **SEAL ME NOOOOWWWWWW!**"

Makoto has finished typing notes on her cell phone and now sending the codes, "Thank you. Hope the day when JP's will use you in the future will not arrive."

_*CLING*_ the stake flashes a light _***ZOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT… ZLEB***_ Hymen was absorbed by purple energy mist and entered the stake _*NGIIING*_ the stake returned down the Earth, and everything is peaceful again.

"Big Sis Mako, why did you seal him? He hasn't answered me," except for Alice's pouting.

Makoto kneels down and pats Alice again to ensure that she won't be angry, "Hymen will tell you the answer once you're grown up enough."

In for Alice's case, never.

"Until then, be a nice girl Alice. Here, return to the summoning app."

"Ah, I see. Thank you, Big Sis Mako! You are so kind, like Uncle Red and Uncle Black!" Alice pecks Makoto on the cheek, "Bye-bye! I love you!"_** *VOOM***_

…Makoto stays in her position, unmoving. Daichi took the initiative of grabbing a random wooden stick and pokes her with it. One poke, nothing. Two pokes, nothing. Three pokes-

"…I'm still alive, Shijima."

"Phew."

…

[**SOME**DAY, 16:30]

Now the problem has been solved, the group has scattered leaving Makoto and Fumi to handle the rest. Airi was insisting to join the Kama's capture operation, but Makoto finally succeeded in persuading her. As Kama might blabber the whole 'love affair' should Airi shows up… It is better if other staff don't know the details. Makoto has finished gathering the best members she could find to capture Kama. The last thing she needs to do is reporting to her boss and asking for mission approval, which she is doing now.

"…That concludes my report, Chief."

"_Good work, Sako. But there's no need to capture Kama anymore."_

"Huh? But Chief…"

"_That is an order. You are now dismissed."_

"…Understood, sir. Ah, one more thing…"

"_What is it?"_

"Chief, I…"

"_Is this about our little incident this morning?"_

"…Yes," Makoto bit his lip, embarrassed.

"…_Such thing doesn't bother me. I won't punish you."_

"…You have my deepest gratitude, sir," Makoto could feel the weight on her heart lifted.

"_Are you done? Now, if you excuse me…" *click*_

Makoto fold her cell phone and stares at the sky. Fumi is snickering besides her.

…

Osaka

[**SOME**DAY, 17:00]

**/Konohana-ku – Sakurajima Warehouse 27**

Inside this abandoned warehouse, a wounded Kama is present. His body is still too weak to shoot an arrow properly, while his loyal bird's wings are not strong enough to fly away. So all Kama could do is… write a letter? A last will, to be precise.

"Are you done?" Yamato's threatening voice echoes inside the empty building.

"Wallabingbang!" Kama was scared stiff, "A-A-Almost! Ten more lines…"

"Stop taking advantage of my charity. Finish it already so I could judge you."

"I-It's not fair, son of man! You were lying to me! That girl was beating me up! I simply wanted to see you two acted funny…"

"Do I look funny now to you?"

Kama couldn't see Yamato in the eye. Three minutes later, he is finished. He handed the last will, wrapped neatly with velvet ribbon, to Yamato's hands.

"Just keep it safe somewhere, so my friends-"

"…Cerberus." _***VOOM***_

Yamato's loyal demon dog partner is summoned. It breathes a ring of fire to the ground, and Yamato drops the letter right in the middle of the ring.

"What are you doing, son of man!?"

Yamato clapped his hands together, praying.

"Seeing as you didn't appreciate my last prayer, I would pray again so your last will and memory shall be burned into Earth's root."

"B-B-But! You said you would deliver my last will to my friends!"

"I will deliver it into the Earth's core, where the trees and soil shall grow, thus bear fruit to deliver the message to your friends."

Ignoring Kama's desperate plea, Yamato finishes his chant and enormous dragon energy appears _***SCREEEEEE, CHOMP, ZOOOOOTTTT***_ and swallowed Kama from below.

"Youuu liiieeeeeeddd too meee agaaaaiiiiinnnnn!" was Kama's final line before-

-_***BURP* **_the energy digested him and returning into the depths of Earth's core.

…

Tokyo

[**SOME**DAY, 17:30]

_***PIPIPIPIPIPI**__*_ Hiro received an E-Mail.

/

FROM: Nicaea

SUBJECT: Re: Hymen

A new demon is now available for fusion in the Cathedral of Shadows: **Hymen**.

/

**/Minato – Tokyo Tower**

_# You see a familiar-looking man up ahead._

"Greetings and salutations, Shining One. You've overcome the spell and emerged victorious," Anguished One spoke, "Humanity is truly without limit, for you've proven it."

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[Were you behind this?]

**[I expect an explanation.]**

* * *

"But of course. More days like this one will come, with unique trial resides within each. You and your friends have the task to entertain readers in fanfiction net website by solving it."

Hiro gave A.O. a mixed look, but that's to be expected. A.O. gives him a reassuring smile, before continuing his explanation.

"Fear not, Shining One. Today you have performed splendidly, for this day received many positive reviews. The author was pleased, therefore you may rejoice."

Hiro's shoulder goes slump, relieved. But as A.O. gave him a concerned expression, he is tensing up again in no time.

"Today was a simple combat, but I'm afraid other days will have a more complicated objective. That's the nature of human desires," A.O. covers his mouth worryingly, "Your bond with your friends is the key to surviving the days to come. Until then, enjoy your peaceful time free of Septentrione. May the stars be with you, Shining One."

_# The man vanishes, leaving behind only his mysterious warning…_

…

[**SOME**DAY, 18:00]

**/Nagata-cho – Tokyo Branch**

The whole building pretty much has returned to its daily routine, although a few staff in each floor would curse a certain officer Sako every now and then… That didn't matter to Joe, for he has some 'work' to do.

"Yo, Foomy!"

In a well-hidden room near the deepest facility of Tokyo branch, lies Fumi's secret lab. Secret as in, Yamato didn't know- wait, he did know it's in the building, but doesn't care enough to waste time searching for it. Still, to the others, the existence of this place is one of 7 mysteries of JP's. How did Joe stumbles on it? That's probably the 8th mystery.

"Stop calling me that stupid nickname. What do you want?"

"Don't be so cold. I got the stuff."

As Joe showcases an USB drive, Fumi's fingers paused. She took it and read the files inside using her computer. …They're high-definition movie files of Makoto's proposal to Ronaldo and the church's affair. Joe was recording them!

"…How much?"

"What do you have?"

Fumi opened a folder contain movie files of Hiro-Airi's dates, Makoto's perverseness this morning, Daichi's family feud feat. Keita & Hinako, and the sealing terror.

"A fine collection! How did you manage to…?"

"Hacking JP's satellite."

"Wouldn't Yamato…"

"As long as I didn't spy on him, the Chief doesn't care."

With that, Joe and Fumi had a deal.

…

Osaka

[**SOME**DAY, 18:30]

**/Umeda – Bickman**

An absent-minded Keita is standing on the highest step of that big stairs from his previous Death Clip. Hinako is standing on the lowest step, looking at him warily.

"Keita, you're not going to jump, are you?"

"…And if I am?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoaaa!" a panicking Daichi is coming to Keita's side, "Don't do it, Keita! I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry won't cut it, Daichi," Hinako scolded.

"I-I know _*panting*_ so I want to tell you this…," Daichi inhales, "There's this guy in Tokyo, Omotesando, who operates a food stand- err, a bar actually, but now he also sell fast-foods during this crisis. He's a demon tamer, so he accepts Macca as payment."

Keita and Hinako stare at Daichi, "So?"

"There are burgers, hotdogs, French fries, milk, fruit punch, soda, and so forth. Choose whichever you want, as many times as you want. It's on me!"

Hinako speedily climbs the stairs and dragging Keita with her to run through Daichi.

"Come on guys! Let's have some real grub!" Hinako laughs heartily, "Right, Keita?"

"…I want extra cheese," was Keita's gloomy reply, but he come along either way.

Hinako giggles, before tugging Daichi's shoulder, "Lead the way, 'dad'."

…

[**SOME**DAY, 19:00]

**/Shinsekai – Osaka Main Branch**

Koharu was playing with action figures of Mithra and Behemoth, which she categorized as cute, when Otome entered the room carrying a plastic bag.

"Mom! Is your work done? Are there books in that bag?"

Otome didn't reply to her daughter, but proceeds on closing the door soundlessly.

"…Mom?"

Instead of speaking, Otome took out the contents of her plastic bag. They are DVD videos of varying titles, some of them even famous. Buuut, all of those are 18+ titles containing you-know-what material.

"These were under your bed, Koharu."

Koharu didn't speak a word. Instead of waiting for an answer, Otome opens up her cell phone, pressing some buttons, and showing the display to Koharu.

_*BUZZ*_ _"I-I… I know that, but… W-What should I do…?"_

It's a wiretap recording of Koharu's conversation with Makoto!

"_Easy! Let me tell you! __***censored, censored, censored***__"_

…except in this recording, Koharu's whispers were clearly audible. This a T-rated story, so they are censored for the readers.

"These movies had the exact dialogues you quoted, Koharu."

Koharu dropped her toys. Her face is as white as a sheet.

"Koharu."

"Yes, mom?"

"You're grounded."

As Koharu open her mouth to protest, Otome presses a button on her cell phone _***VOOM***_ and Brigid, the Irish goddess of fire, is summoned. The magic cup she carried is blazing hot like a cauldron, which instantly increases the room's temperature.

"Miss Brigid, please took your time disciplining Koharu while I'm finishing today's medical reports," Otome smiles serenely.

"B-But mom! She's… so hot! I mean, fire hot!" Koharu whined.

"Understood, Mrs. Yanagiya. Your daughter is in capable hands."

"I love you, Koharu. Be a good girl, ok?" after waving goodbye, Otome locked the door.

"Miss Koharu, let's continue our lesson in boiling herbs," Brigid put her blazing cup in front of Koharu, "First, put these grasses inside…"

"No! It's too hot!" suddenly one of Koharu's pigtails is on fire, "AAAHH! Put it out! I'm sorry!"

Brigid put off the flame, heals the crisped hair, and continue the lesson. Koharu can only obey while resisting the heat.

…

[**SOME**DAY, 19:30]

**/Nanba – OCUT Plaza**

Makoto was taking a walk away from her office, to breathe out fresh air. Coincidentally, she met Airi who is doing the exact same thing. They began to take a stroll, talking random topics simply to clear their minds off.

"You know Ban… I was kind of jealous of you."

"Huh? What are you saying, Makoto?"

"I know we were experiencing embarrassing things, but at least you weren't affected… and you were paired with him."

Airi put her small hands on her equally small chests- ouch! I mean her growing features, while thinking deeply.

"…Maybe you're right. It'll be much worse if it was one of the other guys."

"Indeed. Haha, we do truly depend on him, didn't we?"

The two females gaze up, thinking of him… And they are blushing after ten seconds. Hard. They're exchanging looks, only to look away from each other and pretend to not notice. But someone does happen to walk by and noticed.

"Good evening, Makoto, Airi," Io greeted politely.

"G-Good evening," both Makoto and Airi replied crankily in unison.

Io smiles in front of them, pacing her feet back and forth. It seems she had something to say, but stalling it as usual. After a good thirty seconds, she lifts her right hand, pointing at Makoto and Airi, thus speaks:

"I-I-I… I won't lose!"

Io said that with determination, albeit a half-baked one. Makoto and Airi don't understand the meaning. Girls can also be so dense… not as much as this guy, though.

"Jungo?" Airi noticed the giant boy approaching.

"Jungo still have some chawanmushi left. Do you guys want to eat it? They're still good."

Oh Jungo, as simple-minded as ever. Io and Airi are on a 'stalemate' and enjoying the dish. As for Makoto…

"Sorry, Makoto. There's no more left," Jungo apologized.

Makoto, being an adult and all, decided to forfeit, "That's fine."

Makoto says her farewell to them and leave. A few minutes of walk later, she realized that Jungo is following her.

"Makoto, Jungo forgot to give this to you," he said as he handed over a carton box, "It's from Yamato."

"From the Chief? What was he ordered me to do with this?"

"He didn't say anything about that. He only asked Jungo to deliver this to you."

Jungo has left. With no one in vicinity, Makoto cautiously opened the box. It contains eight pieces of… takoyaki? What? Makoto's brain is trying to cook up the most plausible objective possible and it comes out with only one obvious thing to do: eat it. After three paranoid glances around her for spies, Makoto took the toothpick, skewer one ball of takoyaki with it, and put it inside her mouth.

"…Delicious."

Makoto feel that she understood the Chief more. She doesn't know why, but she's sure of that.

…

Nagoya

[**SOME**DAY, 20:00]

**/Oosu – Akamon**

_# A familiar man is approaching you._

"How's it doing, kid?" Dera-Deka greeted, "It seems you were busy all day."

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[You wouldn't believe me.]**

[I was having fun.]

[Thanks for bringing that up.]

* * *

"Haha, easy kid. I didn't interrogate you for the details," Dera-Deka laughed a bit, "But I believe I have a question for you."

_# Dera-Deka has a serious expression on his face._

"Answer this honestly… What is your opinion of my daughter?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

[She's a good fighter.]

[She's extremely quick to anger.]

**[She IS cute, but…]**

* * *

"I see. You seem to be honest. If she's with you, maybe- Ah, forgive me for mumbling like that. I know there are many attractive women surrounding you, but please take good care of her for this old man, ok? See ya, kid."

_# Dera-Deka left, his steps are light…_

…

[**SOME**DAY, 20:30]

**/Fushimi – Parking Garage**

Ronaldo is back with his riot group. While they are glad to have him back, Ronaldo didn't look quite as happy.

"Ronaldo? Are you hurt anywhere, man?" a man with sunglasses is worried, "Hey girl, you were studying to be a nurse right? You must have some medical knowledge."

"Yes, I do. Ronaldo, if you're hurt I could fix you up with this first-aid-kit! Here, let me take a look…," said a high school girl, who approaches him... _***click***_ "EEEP!"

-Only for Ronaldo to point a gun at her head. The girl runs off dropping her kit, hiding behind the sunglasses man.

"Oh, forgive me. I thought you were HER…," Ronaldo lowers his gun.

"What's up with you, man? We don't need a gun."

"You're right," Ronaldo then proceeds to unload the bullets in his gun… leaving only one inside, before inserting the magazine again.

"…Ronaldo? You okay, man?"

"You are right… to protect myself from HER… I only need one bullet…"

The sunglasses man took a step back. The high school girl fainted.

…

Tokyo

[**SOME**DAY, 21:00]

**/Nagata-cho – Tokyo Branch**

Hiro is back in the residential area inside his room, ready for bed. But as usual, _*beep*_ Nicaea starts up with Tico on the screen.

"Yoohoo, Hiro! Good going surviving another day!"

The bunny girl is as energetic as ever; maybe that's why Hiro picked her.

"I kinda put together a rundown of the stuff you did today…"

Hiro had an urge to swallow. He doesn't know why.

"Well? Wanna hear it?"

* * *

*** Hiro Kageyama:**

**[Let's hear it.]**

[That's okay.]

* * *

Against his better judgment, Hiro decided to listen.

"Ho-kay! Well then…!" Tico started, "You woke up, and then Mako-Mako peeps on you and the boys! What a perv!"

Hiro decided to not register that first line of information in his brain.

"There was a ruckus afterwards, but who cares! You already left anyway!" Tico continues, "Then you go wooing Airi! Hugs and kisses! Seriously, you had a strange fetish. I'm much cuter and had better… you know what I mean, teehee!"

Hiro decided to not register this second line of info as well.

"Guys like Fumi and Jungo shows up and being a jerk, but you looked happy so I guess that's fine? Your fetish was infectious! Guys like Daichi and Mako-Mako thrown kisses all over the place, creeping the other guys. Yuck!"

Hiro register this third line. It wasn't so bad.

"Finally, you were about to smooch-smooch with Ai, with the others following your sick lead. Oh-Em-Gee- RIIING! Stupid phone! What a bummer, yeah?"

Hiro cover his ears.

"Foomy figured out that a demon was behind it, with ANOTHER demon behind it. Figures!" Tico is excited for this part, "BANG! POW! KAPEW! You and your friends gave him a serious pounding, and then he cries for his mommy. How lame! But everyone is happy now, so it's cool!"

Hiro opened his ears again and tried to laugh on this part, with little success.

"No Septentrione, yaay! Have you thanked His Excellency for the generous hints? You should be grateful, for without His Excellency's help, you guys would go crazy all over the place like rascal monkeys!" Tico pressed her tone a bit for this one, "You guys better put even more super awesome performance in days to come, so the author get more reviews! His Excellency told you exactly that, so better oblige, ho-kay?"

Hiro nods weakly at his navigator, his eyes feel heavy.

"Well, I think that about sums it up!" Tico is closing her speech, "Okay, then! Have a nice wheeee!" _*beep*_

…

Later that night, Hiro received several new E-Mails.

/

* * *

FROM: Daichi

SUBJECT: I'm broke

Hiro! Hinako and Keita were practically stole my wallet! No, they didn't actually steal it, but they ate and drink so much I thought I couldn't even buy the cheapest demon in auction. I know it was my fault, but I was the victim here… If the barkeep wasn't so nice to give me a discount, I wonder what will become of me

Sorry, didn't mean to rant on you like that. Sure you got yourself bonked too, yeah? We were being Casanovas for almost a whole day, if what Hinako told me was true… never mind, let's not talk about this

Right, I haven't told you this bar I found. The barkeep's real nice, he serves fast foods and soft drinks, and he accepts Macca for payment! I accidentally meet him when fighting stray demons. Man, he was a strong tamer! Let's hit his joint next time, kay

* * *

/

* * *

FROM: Io

SUBJECT: Sorry

I was being mean to you today… I think I made you mad, so I should apologize. I know you weren't yourself back then, but I still say those bad things… I'm really sorry.

Still, that man in red told you about more days like this, right? I'm glad that we don't have to fight a Septentrione, but I wonder if something worse than today will happen. Brooding over it won't change anything, so we can only keep going.

…Umm, I want to ask you something. Do you prefer girls with red hair? Recently I came across this good hair-dye, so I wonder if

N-No, never mind. Please forget I said anything. R-Right, I want to tell you this good store which sells variety of good stuff. It also good video games, so I thought you and Daichi would like it. But I don't mind if it's just the two of udfgh

…I'm sorry, I think I'm getting sleepy. Good night.

* * *

/

* * *

FROM: Airi

SUBJECT: You owe me

I'm so pissed off today! Kama was up to his old tricks using his stupid friend Hymen! I didn't even get to beat them up, and it made me even more pissed! I understand Makoto's reasons, but arrgh!

But the main problem is you. You were such a chore to deal with this morning, it made me much angrier than ever! I know you were under the spell control, but don't think I'll just let you off the hook you got that!?

There's this yum restaurant in Nagoya. No, not the one Jungo worked in. This small restaurant accepts Macca, so you have to take me there and treat me. Don't bring the others, they'll be noisy. You better be ready whenever I want to eat there!

What? I didn't search for this restaurant so I could eat just with you. Stupid. Don't get any weird ideas about me!

* * *

/

* * *

FROM: Makoto

SUBJECT: Apology

Hymen and Kama were successfully detained, and it all thanks to you guys. I'm sorry I wasn't as useful and letting this mess happen. I also let Ronaldo go… You must think I'm pretty unreliable as an adult.

I know this is silly, but seeing you back in top shape after Fumi negated the spell boosted my confidence. Watching you as such a reliable man made me grow as a person. I think by spending time with you I could be the reliable woman everyone will look up to. Thank you.

Excuse me, but could I ask you a favor? Once this crisis ends, could you please join JPs? You're a talented individual; I believe Chief would be pleased to have you aboard. I would personally ask for you to be put under my surveillance, so I could teach you a lot of things and we could do missions together…

I'm sorry, I think it was far-fetched. You would surely rise up in ranks without my help anyway… No, no, I wasn't jesting. Sorry about that. Please don't tell Fumi and Otome or I'll never hear the end of it. But I hope we could walk together, hand-in-hand, one day. A-As subordinates, of course. Thank you for listening.

* * *

/

Hiro wasn't sure what he just read. No, he understood Daichi's E-Mail and is eager to visit this bar for some grub. As for the E-Mails he received from the girls… Were they invitations for a date, and he had to choose one- Hiro turn on his dense mode and think nothing of them. If he had to make a choice, it's to sleep right this second. ZZZZ.

_To be continued_

…

* * *

[New Demons]

**Genma** Hymen Lv. 79 _*Unique*_ [superecho]

**HP**: 602. **MP**: 299. St 13, Ma 34, Vi 26, Ag 22.

**Ph**: -. **Fi**: St. **Ic**: St. **El**: -. **Fo**: Nu. **Cu**: Nu.

_CMD_: Holy Strike. _PSV_: Anti-Almighty (LV81). _RCL_: True Phantasm.

Compendium Info:

"_The Greek God of marriage ceremonies, also known as Hymenaios. Other gods always invite him to wedding ceremonies, for if he's absent it will be devastated. He is depicted as a young man wearing a garland of flowers and carrying a torch in his hand. He is celebrated by the song 'Hymen o Hymnae', which give birth to hymn songs."_

/

* * *

**Next Episode**

_A dead face v delivery site_

_Nicaea_

"Sako."

"Yes, Chief?"

"Common people are wonderful, aren't they?"

Makoto dropped all the documents she was carrying.

"You're as healthy as a horse, Chief."

"Yanagiya, do you think I'll make a good father?"

Otome accidentally injected herself with a tranquillizer.

_***SMACK***_ Yamato got hit square on the forehead by one of Fumi's laptops.

"Nice throw, Kanno."

"Okay, he is not normal."

_**Right now, the worst crisis has befallen on JP's organization.**_

_*insert epic music here*_

"To be a man, is to flirt with babes!"

"You want to learn lazy-fu? Then I AM your master!"

"Your old man was WHAT?"

"Can I have this dance, Yamato?"

"Jungo will teach you how to make chawanmushi."

"Your mother? A pianist? Really?"

**2****nd**** Day**

Rue the Day, Commoners - I

Io is wearing an oversized JP's black trench coat and standing on a big podium, at the center of Tokyo. She's tilting the tall microphone nervously before begin speaking to the public.

"G-Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Io Nitta… the new Miss JP's."

* * *

/

Author's Note

That's it. Phew, that was a real hard work of 45 pages (not counting author's notes). At first I want they have a party in the ending, but decided to change it, along with adding more things like Alice. I hope you found the story much funnier with all the enhancements I made by delaying this chapter :)

Vivaha Sanskar is Hindu for marriage ceremony; while Hymen (European God) was the culprit, Kama (Hinduism God) was the mastermind so I decided to use that name. And yes, the barkeep mentioned was Gin from Devil Survivor 1.

I tried to use a variety of demons and use skills to its fullest, so I hope the battle scene was satisfying enough. Hymen's stats are my original design, trying to be as close as possible to the game mechanics. I wish to add more new demons in future chapters, especially for the races that are lacking in numbers.

I tried to use an index to read this chapter easier. Hope I don't need to it often… Next 'day' will focus on Yamato. Please look forward to it. I'll need to work on my other stories first, so please be patient. The characters of Devil Survivor 2 are pretty colorful, and I hope you enjoyed reading about them as much as I wrote them. Thank you very much, and please review! XD


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